Laugh Now

(Originally July 1 2006)

Two days ago, or three, I started to avoid sugar and wheat (well, most breads). That is, no more easy sandwiches from McDonald's, Wendy's, or Popeye's. Nothing breaded then deep fried. Think Atkin's Lite. I know this will work for two important reasons; 1) It worked before and 2) Not eating that stuff is less calories be it bread or not.

The bread avoidance gets taken care of when I eat anything else--when I'm chewing and tasting, food is food and there's plenty yummy stuff out there which isn't bread(ed).

But the sugar avoidance? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my God. I am addicted. I'm a stone cold junkie. I think about sugar all the time. Jellybellys and Blow Pops and Cotton Candy and Dunkin's donuts and strawberry coolattas. Good*O champagne cola. Willy Wonka's NERDS. Brownies from Au Bon Pain. Scones from Starbucks.

So I'm trying to abate the crave with fruit. For breakfast today I had a banana and a cup of black tea sweetened with Equal. I know what they say about Equal but I'm not trying to hear it. It's better than Splenda and sweeter than sugar. For lunch I had Chicken and Snow Peas in white sauce, no bread there. I had the fried noodles though. I guess that's wheat. They were as tasty as a Blow Pop. See? My brain knows. For dinner I planned a steak or eggs (not both because, just, eww) Instead I'm having Tostito chips w/salsa. The Tostitos are corn, not wheat. Which makes me realize I can devour Taco Bell with impunity based on that fact. (I noticed they don't say "Run For The Border" anymore. I wonder why?)

I must add gallons of water a week to this eatstyle. Right now, I drink it--much more than I ever have--but not enough. I inevitably forget my bottle somewhere or feel too lazy to go fetch a new one.

But by the time I turn 42, I want this belly gone. I want to be able to wear dress shirts tucked in without hiding under a jacket or sweater. I want money in the bank. I want the power to be able to move out of this house if I choose to.

Laugh now, devil, but I'm not giving up yet.