Life: 2, Me: 0

(Originally June 1 2006)

And this is why blogs are a good thing.

Not 24 hors ago, I admitted that I suck at banking and that I was going to make bad choices. Practically asking for it.

And whammo, today, I lost nearly $300.00 to overdraft fees. The exact same thing happened over this weekend that happened when I closed out my Wachovia account. Money in the account on a Friday, spendation galore over the weekend, a check comes from left field and hits the account after the weekend, the bank pays it out first and calls the weekend's purchases 'overdrafts', regardless of Friday's balance.

And I don't feel the same way today as I did the other time it happened. Why?

Well, because I know I suck. SUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUCK. And not in a good way.

The other reason I can accept this better is because the money they took for overdraft isn't mine anyway. If I had the 300 bucks back, I was supposed to give it to My Benefactor as a car payment. Or to one of the other 4 creditors perched over my account. In fact, every dime I spend on me feels like I'm stealing it from someone else. And it's felt that way since...I guess since I went to college. No that's not true.

When I was living at home with Mom, and I was making good Post Office money, I felt that I was supposed to be giving her some. I felt that I was too old to be living at home and that it wasn't fair to be making more than she was, and not contribute to the house.

And so did she, believe me. And she screamed it at me often enough. And I dug my heels in and gave her drips and drabs, well after I indulged myself on my own wants.

And thus began a habit of foolishness and financial irresponsibility, and here I live with a crackhead as pennace for my disgusting behavior.

And that is that.

Life:2 and Me:0.