When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

And Now For Something Completely Different ...

(Originally 3/16/07)

I had a nice juicy car accident today! Yayyyyy!

I was going to the dentist to get these horrible dead roots taken out today, thanks to my new flexible spending account from my new shiny health insurance in my 1 year plus new job. Yesterday it was nearly 60 degrees, and today it was a snowy (and I daresay pretty) 30 degree day. But I figured I should go and get this dental work done.

Driving in a straight line up the road, my car starts to fishtail. To the left to the left, then to the right, then to the left again, and now I'm heading into the opposite lane. Oh that's not good. Because look, there's an oncoming car and ...

I closed my eyes and braced myself.

WHAM!! *clatter clatter*


I opened my eyes. I don't know where I was facing. Passenger's side was now a few inches away from my right. Window -- window? Passenger's side window gone. Chunks of glass between my legs. My legs? My arms? My me?

I'm okay. All the damage was done on the passenger's side. But where'd all the glass go?

I fished in my pocket and got my phone and called 911. I argued with the dispatcher a little bit because she wanted to know where I was on the avenue and what did I know? I didn't even know which direction I was facing anymore. Then I saw a mailbox number and gave it to her. And she wanted to know if I needed an ambulance and I said yes, and then she didn't believe me. I guess I didn't sound like I needed one. So I told her that the other woman had blood in her mouth, which she in fact did because there she was, out of her car and walking around saying something like, "Oh my poor car," a few times. Yeah, true, I'd messed hers up pretty well too. Finally Ms. 911 believed me and said she'd be sending someone. So I stayed in my own car for a while, but not for too long because the arriving rescue workers and police agreed that they smelled gas.

I was asked a few times by the rescue workers if I was alright. As far as I knew, I was. As far as I still know, I am. Except I keep finding teensy crystals of glass in my hair--of which I don't have so much of, so I guess they're really in my scalp.

And I think I can feel my clenched muscles begin to unclench, so that might make me sore.

My car? TOTALED. If I had any passengers in the front with me, they would have been dead. They would have been crushed at the pelvis. Such an incredible-looking wreck. One of those moments when, passing by, you cross yourself and thank God you weren't me.

Me? I didn't see my life flash before my whatevers. When I knew I was going to hit, I might have sighed, "Oh well," and then braced myself. Which really, I don't know what that means. I closed my eyes because I didn't want to see it, and I clenched my teeth because I hated the fact that I couldn't stop it. I think I hunched forward a little, and I'm not sure if I gripped the steering wheel.

It was very much like cresting the first hill of the roller coaster, for me. I knew I would hate it, but there was nothing I could do to stop it.

And it was pretty much like I thought it'd be. (Yes, I've thought about this before. Pretty much all the time, actually. Worst-Case Scenario Man!) A little silence and then BANGGGG!! A big jolt and then some swerving, some vertigo, and then nothing.

My insurance? No collision. They'll pay for the liability to the other car, and whatever personal injury she'd like to claim, and for any I'd like to claim too. But for me replacing the car ... nada.

So now I have to get a new car, or a new used one. And I have to rent one on Monday. And there goes my savings plan. Which was an inevitability, I suppose. I don't keep cars, it appears. But hey, I'm alive, and I'm employed gainfully, and my credit cards are paid off.

And I'm a friend of My Hero's.

And of Jesus Christ, apparently. Thanks for that, Lord.


That's alright then.

No comments: