When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Date Nation

(Originally 3/2/07)

Well, I've found out for myself that there is a form letter-rejection to use when turning someone down on Match.Com. I used the same one for an e-mailer that was used on me. And I cancelled my subscription.

I had found another girl who was looking for my age range and presented herself quite well. Then in her specifics, it said "Her Date" should be making between $100,000 to $150,000. Well, I totally agree. I should be making that kind of money. But since I don't, I'll not be wasting her time. I'm not going to renew my subscription there.

Is it possible that the only successful people from Match.Com and eHarmony are the ones who make the commercials? Well, no that can't be true. They only put the pretty ones on TV. And the sexy-sounding ones they put on the radio. Coming out of my shell and paying off my credit cards should mean that I'm ready to go on a series of blind dates, shouldn't it? Riiiiiight.

Baby steps.

I can say that this whole personalityectomy I'm undergoing makes my future seem a little less cloudy, but now it looks like there are a lot of odds I'll have to overcome. There's another girl at work who works it the same department I do (so I'm a little above her in the food chain, like I was with my last girlfriend--except with the last one I was her direct supervisor until she transferred out of my site. Which reminds me, I have something to say about my last girlfriend in later post). There are two things that prevent me, nay, three things which doth hinder me mightily.

1) She smokes.

2) Our races differ. (Didn't used to be a problem until I lived in Missouri. Yes, Midwesterners are friendly, but they have some HUGE hurdles to surmount when it comes to race. My Childhood Bud seems to have beat those odds, and his in-laws seem to be 'the good ones'. But face it, I'm just getting good at this meeting-strangers thing. All I need is one relative to look at me the wrong way because of the color of my skin, and I'll wind up hurting someone's feelings. Probably my Intended's.)

3) We work in the same organization. (I moved to New York City from Trenton because of a bad relationship and that didn't work out so well, to say the least. I can't afford for that to happen again).

In fact, I feel like I can't afford for many more things to go wrong again. Like dating and failing. But that was one of the problems I had with my Springfield, MO girlfriend. She was 40 and I was younger, and she was desperate. She thought I was God's only answer for her life and the answer to all her prayers. Not because I was such a great catch, but because she had grown so old without a man. Now I know how she felt, although, as a man I do have the advantage of being able to hook up with a PYT and still having children (as soon as I convince myself that I can).


Last night I was chatting with a TS member, and they asked if I wanted to give them a call ... and that old hesitation came back. But I didn't wrestle with it too long, and I made the call! The TS'er seemed so happy that I did, and it made me happy! When I realized that it wasn't about me, but about making someone else's day, the fear left!

How cool is that?

Humanity! It's What's For Dinner--!!

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