Apart from discovering Toto lyrics, I've been watchingthe weeks fly by. Everytime I take a breath it seems to be Sunday. I stopped doing therapy, in truth. I signed off from my last two clients and I'm glad to say they were at good places when I left them. Their lives had ironed out and the problems they had when they met me had actually taken care of themselves. I guess the most help I had been to them was give them someone to air out their frustrations. I actively gave them some coping mechanism and helped them see perspectives of their problems that they hadn't come to on their own. Changing the perspective on most problems really does help you through them.
For instance, I've been going through my current situation as seeing it as a well-deserved vacation from life. Because folks, I've been through A LOT. Too much, in fact. It's miserable to know how many failures I've committed which ended me up here, but there were reasons (not excuses) why I did them. Due to those reasons, I have decided to put away regret. Regret burns up useless energy. There isn't a known possible way to undo what's been done.
So this is week 3 of my Barnes & Noble job. I managed somehow not to incur any overdraft charges on my account either due to the Thanksgiving system being down, or the new bank I joined is better than Wachovia. But now that I deposited my 3rd check, I see the money growing and it's all relative. Paying people back at this rate is going to take millenia, but since I'm sheltered and headed nowhere special, I'm not going to sweat it.
Still, my NY license is on its way out there somewhere and by the time I get it I should have my NYC career job-hunting energy back. But I have seriously thought of suing the NYS government for their shoddy and ridiculous handling of this application process. I submitted the thing in July, and they cashed the check before August. yet they can't process the app as fast as they can deposit the check. It's criminal. And it cost me my NYC apartment, my self-esteem, and my interest in being a mental health professional. That's worth monetary compensation isn't it?
Whatever.
It snowed last night and if the ground is still icy tomorrow at 3PM, then I will have to walk to work. It's about a 45 minute walk. And then I'm closing. So I won't get home until 1:00AM. Thought I'd just complain a little. But I'm doing it and it's only going to make me stronger. If I ever regain an adult independence again, I'll look back on these days in amazement and wonder How On Earth..? And hopefully I'll be doing that at 25lbs. lighter.
Next Toto song,
(I did a websearch to study as much as I could about this band since I learned they did Georgy Porgy and found this and then, curious to know which one of them dudes is responsible for putting that Toto 'voice' in my head, and caused me to strain a many note trying to sound like him, found this.
Ol' Dude;
I'LL BE OVER YOU
Some people live their dreams
Some people close their eyes
Some people's destiny
Passes by
There are no guarantees
There are no alibis
That's how our love must be
Don't ask why
[Bridge:]
It takes some time
God knows how long
I know that I can forget you
As soon as my heart stops breakin'
Anticipating
As soon as forever is through
I'll be over you
Remembering times gone by
Promises we once made
What are the reasons why
Nothing stays the same
[Bridge:]
There were the nights holding you close
Someday I'll try to forget them
Someday I'll be over you
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