(Originally 10/29/06)
I just don't want my life to change right now, and it seems like its going to whether I want it to or not.
I went to an AA meeting with My Benefactor tonight. I made sure I went to NYC earlier so I wouldn't feel trapped. I dropped about $25.00 on lunch, tolls, Pom Frap. Came back and sat under the barrage of My Benefactor's newfound creativity while I played CoH. Tried to stay optimistic for him. Tried not to freak out. Tried not to believe that this is the beginning of unbridled mania from him which will rob me of all solitude and personal space. Tried to think of his needs rather than my own.
As of this writing, I have not freaked.
Alcoholics. Addiction. One Day At A Time. People huddling together to fight off a demon that haunts and hounds them, and is threatening every minute to destroy them. This is the stuff of nightmares. This is The Night Of The Living Dead; the human survivors are the alcoholics and the zombie nation is alcohol. Is there any joy left for them? Will they ever feel good again? Will they ever be able to go through a five minute period without thinking about the deathrace they're in?
Gosh, what an effed-up world we got ourselves, huh?
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