When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

And I Hate It

(Originally 10/31/06)

A new battery turned out to be a new alternator AND a new battery, plus the labor for the nice grease monkeys who just raped me. So I spent 440-some odd dollars today. And medically, I don't have strep throat.

And I HATE it.

I'm not using credit cards, so when I have to spend the money, I have to SPEND the MONEY. Which means now I'm in the hole for a good week and a half. In the hole with no credit you say? How is that possible? Well because the slow ass banking system, with all their pretty little promises, has not processed one 300+ dollar debit that was scheduled to come out of my account either today, or 4 days ago. One of those purchases happened, but I can't tell which one because

a) The math is too fuzzy. I do the subtraction and know what the exact amount deducted, but the figure isn't familiar. It's not exactly the amount I'm expecting to have debited. over 300, but I don't know why. I have to believe there are other purchases surrounding the 300, BUT,

b) THAT STUPID DAMN INEFFICIENT PISSY COMPUTERIZED BANK SYSTEM HASN'T POSTED WHAT THE DAMN DEBITS TO MY ACCOUNT ACCTUALLY ARE YET. Purchases I made DAYS ago, they can't tell me what they are yet. They can subtract the money to the penny, but the computer can't tell me why yet.

AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!

Okay, so I call the bank to get all the purchase information that they can see in their system, BUT CANNOT POST TO MY COMPUTER BECAUSE THE PURCHASES HAVE NOT FINISHED YET (in other words, it's on "hold"--they can subtract the money so I can't use it, but they can't say it's "paid" until they get the merchant's 'paperwork'. Which means they have the right to overdraft my account even though they haven't really paid anyone yet. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?).



SO. I have considerably less than 300 dollars in my account now, just waiting for a 300 plus debit to hit. That'll make it go into the negatives, earn me a 33.00 overdraft fee, and have me with negative money in my pocket for the next TEN DAYS.

Okay.

So now the operater tells me what I need, right down to the penny. And now I know how much money I need to stick into my account to prevent any overdrafts. And yes there will be more than one because if they get the 300 dollar debit before this 'paperwork' from the other purchases, they will pay the 300 first, then let the other purchases go into overdraft --EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW THE PURCHASES HAVE BEEN MADE ALREADY AND DEDUCTED THE AMOUNT FROM MY AVAILABLE BALANCE. Which means they get to collect more than one overdraft and the rich get to stay rich, and poor stupid bastards like me continue to get screwed.

AND I HAAAAAAAAAATE ITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

Unles I ask My Benefactor for a loan before they sock his ass away into rehab. And do I want to do that? No I do not. Have I done it before? Yes. Will I do it again? I'd better. Is life fun? No. No it is not.


Yesterday, My Benefactor did an outpatient assess with his father at a nearby clinic. They determined he should go to a month-long detox. He was a little dismayed when I got home. He didn't have a relapse, as far as I know, but he took a prescribed anti-anxiety and grew too sleepy to go to a meeting. The difference between his 'sleepy' and his 'drunk' was noticeable, so I don't think he relapsed.

So he's going to go to this place. He's kind of comforted by the movie 28 Days, which they showed during his dry-out last week in the hospital. He just didn't want to believe that he was that bad off.

But yes, he is that bad off.

My reprieve comes in the fact that he's going away for a solid month. His father, however, will be sending the repairman over to fix stuff. Ultimately, it is his father's house. And then again, My Benefactor's son is going to be bopping over here to practice guitar with someone, which he's taken to doing for the past few weekends, whether Benefactor is here or not. Ultimately, it is his grandfather's house.

So I might as well not get too much joy out of My Benefactor's trip out of town. I won't be truly free until I move out and start paying my own rent.

Meanwhile, today I have to get a new car battery. This one is dying. And I have to see my doctor. All this coughing I've done for the past three weeks has lead me to a very painful rear tongue and I don't know what it really is. I might have strep, for all I know. So I'll go do that.

And the Audio project is coming along nicely. The Darker Projects Exec Producer is mixing it himself and is excited about it.

Oh --- that leads me to another fascinating development.

I called Feedback over the weekend. Yeh! He had given me his number in an audiodrama-related e-mail and I didn't quite know what to do with it. The Fanboi in me wanted to run up a wall and down the other. The Adult in me (yes, he is actually in there these days) wanted to treat it like any other business contact. So last weekend, I had business with Feedback.

Mind you, I had to call a friend to help me tame the Fanboi Within, and then, while walking in NYC on the way to my newer D&D obsession (a new NYC-based D&D campaign run by someone else, played in another NYC office boardroom, with my old NYC D&D friends), I called My Hero.

It started as business, which kept me sane, and then it blended into friendly conversation. Fortunately, my battery was dying and he was on his way to a superhero-related destination (I kid you not). That way, I got to end the conversation like a rational human being, and not utterly disgrace the priviledge of the phone number.

And so, what happened overall? Actually, I hesitate to say. I think I've crossed over from remote adoration to remote relationship, if that makes any sense. In other words, I'm no longer reading Matt by his words and action, I'm reading him by his voice and responses. I have more of him to assess. More substantial data. So it's no longer a curiosity I'm feeding through the Internet--it's become real.

And I feel a responsibility towards Matt because of it. That is, when I get a sense of someone--when I really get a 'reading'--I'm very accurate. That's a strength I have. It makes me a good therapist. (I have said this about myself in the past. Despite all my other problems, I've always held to this self-discovery). But in essence, it also gives me important and sensitive information about the people I'm in relationships with.

So there are things I wouldn't blog about my friend Grim Jester, or My Friend The Doctor, or even about you, Childhood Bud. And now, I feel like there are some things I shouldn't blog about My Hero. Only because I can tap into stuff that people don't even know about themselves. It's as close to the superpower of telepathy that I think we humans get.

But I will say this; From what I can see, we could all stand to have a person like My Hero in our lives. Readers, he is truly one of the good guys. And that is very all right then.

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