HYPOCRITE!!!

(Originally August 17 2005)

I just compared my Reflections of August 7th with my last post on Becoming A Real Estate Agent. I seem mighty bipolar there, don't I?

But oddly, I have reconciled the two sentiments.

I actually may not be getting a real-estate position with this brokerage tomorrow. I told him who I was and what I'm struggling with. I sent him my resume, which has ZIPPO real-estate history on it. Yet he wants to see me in an interview.

I suspect it'll be a high-sales pitch about why I need to work for him and all what I need to do, and if I'll just sign on the dotted line and pay him $XXX.XX amount of dollars he can get me started right away...which of course, I'll be trotting out the door chuckling because as of this moment I. Have. No. Money.

But you see, this idea is not the end-all and be-all. I am still worthy of love regardless of my financial situation. I'm worthy if I never get my NYC license. I'm worthy if I work at Starbucks from now until.

But the fact remains, I have a new opportunity and a new ambition to take my life forward. God may want me to be more than a 40-year-old barista. He might want me to be a terrific husband and father. Whatever.

I just know that whether I get into real estate or not, I'm loved and am deserving of love.