Still Adjusting

(Originally 3/27/07)

I SO have to get a girl.

Brenticus!! I published that picture of MFTD's wife and his baby so you could see it, you know. I was hoping one of the Texans frequenting the page was you. Can you e-mail me your phone number please? If you weren't both of them, then one of them is Bluezy Bunny.

Like I was saying, I have to get a girl. If I had come back to New Jersey with a loving relationship waiting for me, I'd be less lonely, I imagine. Although in my mind, I clearly remember one of my heroes asking me if I though being married always answered the problem of being lonely. I couldn't imagine what he meant at the time (this was back before cellphone dominance). But I kind of do. There's always some spot of unfulfillment inside us. You can have 1) the woman of your dreams, 2) the dream job, and 3) enough money in the bank to pay someone else a living wage salary from just your savings alone, and STILL yearn for "something more". Just ask Donald Trump.

So I don't guess I "have to" have a girl. She might not necessarily create a better homecoming, or homestaying. And I suppose it's normal to miss friends. Everyone does. I have a bunch to call up who are closer, if I so need to.

Doesn't stop what's going on inside here right now, though. It'll pass. Or improve. And even if it gets worse and I break down and have a good cry, it'll still get better once the emotion gets released. But I doubt it'll go there. I have a short "Sensitivity Training" to do in an hour and I'm sure some of the messy feelings inside are just mixed in with that nervousness.

But it sure would be nice to have Matt here for a few minutes. Or My Friend The Doctor. Or you, Brenticus. Or you, Steven. Or My Mentor. Or even Grim Jester.

Blaaaaah.

Anyway, I just heard this joke;

Q: How are men and parking spots similar?
A: The good ones are all taken, and what's left are Handicapped.

So that answers that about me getting a girl anyway. If she doesn't already have a good man then she'd have to settle for me--and not being everything she was looking for would probably feel worse than being alone.

BLAAAAaahhh. Should I be posting when I feel low? Well, duh! This is one of my coping mechanisms!

Oh, I'll be alright. Let me get ready for the training ...