The Hounds Are Storming At The Gate

(Originally August 12, 2005)

The collection agents have begun to call again. I had a debt management company for my five credit card balances last year which I summarily lost when I stopped being able to pay rent. So in the six-eight months it took for them to realize I was off the plan, two of the banks gave my debt to collection agencies.

Do these people not know how stupid they sound when they call? When I tell them I have no money, why do they keep haranguing me?

"I'm sorry, I have no money."
"Mr. White, let's try to come to some kind of arrangement..."
"I have no money."
"Surely you have some kind of employment?"
"I use that money to eat with, and take transportation to the job."
"How much can you afford to give us on a monthly basis. I'm sure we can work something out."
"No, we can't, because I have no money to give you."
"Do you still work at the Post Office, Mr. White?"
"I haven't worked for the Post Office in 5 years. I'm in NYC, and I can't find a career job here, and I'm getting evicted at the end of this month so I really have nothing to give you."
"So are you refusing to make a settlement with me, Mr. White?"
"I. Have. No. Money."

I would sooner gouge out my eyeball with a spoon than work as a collections agent.

A friend of mine suggested I file bankruptcy. While it won't save me from getting evicted, it will save me from the hounds. Every other financial decision I've made were crashing failures. I am tainted with fiscal paranoia. I honestly believe that everything I do, financially, will come to ruin--including when I do nothing. So if I file Chapter 7, it will probably top all the other money mistakes I've ever made by an exponential factor of 13. By the time my financial situation is solvent again (if it ever was) I will have spent more money on penalties, fines, and punishments than some poor families receive in a year. I scoff at the inscriptions on our money. America doesn't trust "in God" at all. It's the very money itself which is the "god".

You know, once I'm making six figures, I won't be half this bitter.