It may be that I scared off Match Girl. It also may be that she's busy enjoying her vacation with her sister and didn't want to step away from her to write to me just yet. It also also may be that I'll get an e-mail from her the second I post this.
I also had a chat last night with My Mentor, the guy who stepped in as my father figure when I went out to Missouri in hopes of becoming the next best thing in religious circles. My having left the religious circles didn't stop him from caring about me, but in the last year, I hadn't called him. In hindsight, I was stepping away from him because of all the alternatives I was considering. He would not have approved. He doesn't approve of my current plan, at his core, but he was supportive anyway. His solution for my life is to get back in church. That was his closing line as we disengaged the call, and to my surprise I laughed involuntarily for about two minutes. It was just so him. And I remember when things were that simple--when I didn't doubt the voracity of the Bible or the intention of God for humanity.
Anyway, the reason Match Girl might be gone is that I unloaded my Geekdom on her in my last e-mail. She wanted to know the reason for my screen name, which is the name of a comicbook title. So I explained ... everything. I sent her a link to the audio drama (at broken sea dot com) and told her about My Hero. I just had to. She expressed value in a man who was dedicated to anything, a career, a hobby--just something. So I showed her that I was. But from another perspective, maybe it made me look childish. She's pretty successful--maybe I no longer fit her ideals.
In which case, I'll recover. I wouldn't change who I am or what I like, so whoever's in my future has got to accept me and my everythings. I wonder how long I should wait until I wink at Match Girl II?