Saturday, April 5, 2008
This was quite a nice Saturday, full of the promise of Spring. I was surprised to see how much the twigs of Winter have bloomed at 80th St on Central Park West. To my stunned surprise, I was very close to the area whereupon my background photo was taken. So here's what that area looked like on April 5th, 2008;
It was the kind of temperature where you saw a huge mix of dress. From scarves and winter coats down to tank tops and flipflops (Go on guess which segment of God's rainbow were wearing those).
And the kids. A million kids. Which meant an average of 1.75 million parents accompanying them.
Which brings me to My Agenda. The Neighbor, Ned, opened up the topic by invoking my honest, critical eye upon my motives for wanting to pursue Match Girl (as I shall now call her). Ned shared that after his experience with this process, he found that he just wants to matter to someone. Today's your lucky day, Ned. You matter to me, and I'm just a stranger on the other side of a computer link.
So from the time I posted my response to Ned's comment until now, I've been figuring it out. Going through the Park today, taking the Lexington Avenue line downtown (with inhumanly clean subway tracks at 77th St)
revisiting the Karaoke joint and giving my 90% healed vocal chords a work out (and they've come back even better than before the strange and sudden illness which hit me with laryngitis back in, like, Oct or Nov), and going through the decimated Washington Square Park (they dug up that fountain. BASTARDS!! Every movie you've ever seen with Washington Square Park and the fountain--never again. I've no idea who's bright idea it was to irreversably alter this landmark, but here's the proof
on the way back across the village (where I also encountered the world's smallest art gallery opening
and the weirdest set of plaster-of-paris gay couples set I ever seen. Well, the only set I've ever seen)
to the Number 1 train for the return home.
Seeing all the permutations of life out there made me so aware of how "outside" I feel. Sometimes I feel that clients coming to me is like them going to J'onn Jonzz, The Martian Manhunter, for therapy.
How do I even know that I'm making a lick of sense when I'm, for all intents and purposes, divorced from my clients' experiences as human beings?
So My Agenda is simply this; I want to belong to the human race. I want to take my place in society as a member of it. I want to conform to how our society is shaped, how it grows, and what is expected of its members. I want to be normal. This may sound like the Vulcan Guide's Answer To Love, but when the rubber meets the road (no pun intended) that's what I really, really need. The fluffies of love, the hand-holding, the laugh-sharing, the snuggles, the wondrous experiences of seeing new plays together, eating new foods together, getting caught in the rain together. All fringe benefits.
Heehee, I said "fringe"
And by the way, I received another e-mail from Match Girl. We're trading info on our music tastes but she has now asked about some details of my life. Clearly, she wants to see what size this fish on her line is, and if she'll have to throw it back.