Sunday, April 27, 2008
Yay, More Cats!
I really miss having a cat. I can't tell you about my last cat because I think I really messed up with how I left it with her. Okay, I'll tell you. I left her at George's house, knowing full well that he was/is an irresponsible person, which is the kindest understatement anyone can make. In fact, I'm so glad that I haven't had occasion to talk about him as much as I once did, but I'll spare him this one additional tag count.
I was planning on finding a no-kill shelter to place her when I moved from George's, but all that I found were booked solid. So I left her at George's. Knowing that George spent his nights in a drunken stupor with his screen doors ripped open by his other cats. Knowing that my cat didn't get along with the other cats. Knowing that my cat would wonder where the hell I went.
Half a year went by before I got a call from George asking if I came by and picked up my cat.
No, George. No I didn't.
Because my cat was gone and he didn't know where she went.
Now, it is completely to George's credit, 1) That he housed me rent-free for nearly two years and that 2) He housed my cat for 6 months more--which includes feeding her and giving her a place to poop. He honestly owed me or my cat nothing at all. So I have nothing against George. My reaction to him is based on my own antisocialness and how resentful I was about how my life had turned out to lead me into his basement.
My cat didn't deserve to be abandoned. I got her from a shelter in Missouri and promised I would take care of her. I moved her Missouri to Trenton New Jersey, and then to Harlem New York, and then to Paramus New Jersey. And then I left.
Obviously, I haven't beat myself up over it. I've been a cat freak since forever, bearing cat hair stained suits, slogged through cat hair tumbleweeds, left cat pissed matted carpets in my wake and sacrificed girls in favor of cats. My cat love was obsessive nutty pet owner kind of love. I did want to be free of that and try to be the kind of guy who just likes cats ... but my cat didn't deserve to be abandoned.
So that's a reveal on how maybe I deserve my loneliness, and losing my new friend Ned, and having car accidents, and all sorts of crap.
But I mean, what am I going to do? Kill myself?
Dang. This post turned out way different than the way I intended to start it out.