When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Oh Crap. Crap Crap Crap. Crap. SNAVAM!!!

I have a date. Match Girl I popped the question. Now, you know I like that assertive stuff. I haven't answered yet, but it's there for me to take.

But I don't have any meds yet and I'm fighting the urge to dive under the covers and stay for six weeks until all the smoke clears.

Oh lookie there! Worst-Case Scenario Man has brought in a gazillion of his friends and they've commenced to performing a full scale opera on How Many Ways This Will Suck.

Did she forget the e-mail that contained all my geekitude? She wants to meet and show me her pictures. Have coffee or a drink or something.

This terror is ridiculous.

Am I ready or not?

You know how Billy Batson only had to utter the word "SHAZAM!" and he'd transform into Captain Marvel? The word was made up of the first letters of the beings that gave him his power.
* The wisdom of Solomon;
* The strength of Hercules;
* The stamina of Atlas;
* The power of Zeus;
* The courage of Achilles; and
* The speed of Mercury.

I need a word like this! I need
* The wisdom of Scott
* The stamina of Ned
* The strength of Alex
* The attitude of Vi
* The humor of Ari and
* The courage of Mike

"SNAVAM?"

"SNAVAM!!!"

5 comments:

Vi said...

ATITUDE speaking here.....

DO IT MAN!!!!!

FFS..... IT'S JUST COFFEE!!!!!

xxx

The Neighbor said...

I'm a little miffed that I didn't get the Lead in the Worst Case Scenario opera - did you not get my audition tape?

So let's all step back and calm ourselves a little. (I'm very practiced at this.) She suggested you meet - good. That's WHAT WE WANTED. That's why you are paying your monthly fees. That's why you spend time on a profile and emails.

Yes, you go. Even if you're terrified. ESPECIALLY if you're terrified. Because you and me - we have too much imagination, and we can spin through a dozen tragic scenarios before we take ten steps. And it won't go down like you envision it, because you can only see your role - not hers.

So you go, dammit. You set a date and time and you mention that you're working with a little social anxiety from your end. This is normal with Match - you are essentially meeting a stranger, which flies against everything we were taught.

The terror is good - it means you are taking it seriously. You ARE ready. Seriously, the meds will not make the fear less, just the (will to have) resolve more. You can do it without them.

As for your geekitude - I have further suggestions. It's perfectly fine to be a geek, but most people are turned off by ANYONE who defines themselves by one thing alone. Working out = meathead. Religion = Jesus Freak (represent!). Anything geeky = Geek or Nerd.

So be diverse and well-rounded. Listen to NPR news that morning. Read the paper. Have topics on hand of general interest. Look up some of your mutual musical faves and look for upcoming albums or concert dates.

I'd have chosen wisdom for myself, but stamina, or rather, bullheaded determination, certainly also applies.

You can borrow mine anytime.

Alan said...

Vi, I thought about you all day. What would Vi do? I asked myself. "DO IT MAN, FFS!!!" I smiled every time. I knew you had it for me.

Ned, my brother. I love you like cooked food.

I am going. :-D

A Shade Of Scorpio said...

You are seriously hysterical. Such a craftsman with ideas!!! How can she NOT enjoy your company - even if you have to leave the Wonder Twin power call in a drawer at home!

Alan said...

Dawn, I'm about to believe all these compliments. What'll become of me if I do?

I can't wait to see what kind of woman she is. Since she's ready to meet me, I wonder if she second-guesses herself at all? None of her messages or profile seems to reflect any fear. There's no cover-up language, no braggadocio, no aggression. And if she's as much of a wreck as I am, then she's a fantastic writer!!