When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Thursday, April 3, 2008

If You Could See Me Right Now

...you would call the paramedics.

Like when my hands were itching like crazy during my trip out to Cali, and My Friend The Doctor (but not a medical one, unfortunately) had to help me de-escalate because I was rubbing them and wigging out, Lady MacBeth-style.

Well, it seems like a month since I wrote my Match letter, but according to the profile it was only yesterday. And she has responded today.

I want to paste it here, word for word, but I can't risk her doing a Google! Not yet anyways. Or ever?

But since I've started typing here, I've managed to calm down considerably. And of course, I am going to tell you the highlights of the letter! :D

So she answered my question about the thing, and then she said that she really liked my note to her, and that it and my profile made her laugh!!!

HHHHHHHHHHHHHEE!!!!!! By God, I'm fourteen all over again, and this time, the girl I'm asking out isn't laughing AT me, she's laughing WITH me!! She likes me!!!!

Then she said that since I have these people on my mp3 that I MUST be perfect! (Capitalization HERS!! She's got a sense of humor too!!!!! Which I sensed through her profile, when she mentioned the blinds installation!!!!)

She then mentions what music she's listening to now, and in response to a little gem I plunked at the end of my profile...

"And I'm caught up on at least 7 monthly ( these people) and (these people) titles (A big plus if you know what these companies produce :-D )."

...she said this;

"(these people) and (these people) make comic books, right?"


And I suddenly saw us a year from now on a Match TV commercial saying how we found one another!!!

I mean ... okay, I'm emotional, I know. I know I know I know. Okay. ALRIGHT!

But I mean, come on ... this is like reading a note from Grizz or Fringes, or any one of you lovely smart, clever, wonderfully pithy, full-of-heart ladies - only, you know, different! Because she's responding to me in ... well ... THAT way. She don't gots a man already.

I mean, y'know ... yet. :-D

Gosh, I'm scared, but it's been such a long time that this were possible. well, no, not just "possible" but, say, ACTUAL. Oh and you should see this lady's lovely smile. And her dimples. I hope one day I get the chance to show it to yous!

So, okay. Yeah. No, this is good. Yeah. You were right, Ned. It IS a silly sensation! I like it!

Okay, now I gotta write her back again!

I know just what to say!

"Do U Love Me? 1=Yes, 2=No, 3=Maybe So!"

OH! And I forgot to add that she said some of HER favorite places are these places and these places too!!


GrizzBabe said...

I am SO happy for you. So. Happy.

Alan said...

I'm writing her right now and I'm kind of stuck. I shouldn't be asking her out in the second e-mail I write, should I? I mean, I'm just mentioning what my plans are, being so similar to her interests, and already I want her to be in them.

I bet Mike wouldn't hesitate. Or Scott. Or Ned ...

Alan said...

Okay, well, this is in her profile (right next to my writing field as I type to her);

Flirting: Boldness / Assertiveness: Candlelight: Thunderstorms

So I was bold and assertive. I asked her out. In a roundabout way. "Have you ever been? Want to go?"

and I flirted. I told her how fantastic I thought her smile was.

See! I learned! At least here behind my keyboard, I can be like Mike!

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Easy boy, easy. Gotta play a little hard to get. That way she knows you've got it going on.

fringes said...

You have about a billion potential matches on Match.com. You will eliminate all but about six. Take your time in the beginning and remember that this one may be answering three emails a day and weighing her own options.

If it doesn't work out or she stops responding, move quickly to the next, taking lessons learned with you.

You have love to give and someone is out there waiting for you.

The Neighbor said...

Ned would most certainly hesitate, and here's why. Right now, you and she are in a safe place - I'm guessing you're both using the match.com internal emails. Right now, your sole job is to prove to her that you are NOT CRAZY. You need to get HER to want to meet YOU. Too often we men have agendas, and nearly every woman has seen it in one of us.

The flipside is that while you are indeed interacting with this new FPOI (female person of interest) and she is responding in good and exciting and encouraging ways, there is far more about her that you DON'T know than that which you do. It's very easy to look at the good things and sketch in a lot of good stuff in between that simply isn't reality. All too easy, to quote Vader in Empire.

As hard as it is, Alan, you might need to reel it in a little. Don't decide who you're meeting before you meet her. If you guys truly click, and it DOES happen (fingers crossed for you), then it will very quickly get to real world emails and then a face to face.

My .02 - enjoy the ride, be honest with yourself, and celebrate her interest. Grin at strangers. Dance down the street. Exuberance is fun for everyone.

Alan said...

This is good stuff!

Gyuss, I do believe I can do that. I just have to make sure that I don't convince myself that I'm hard to get. That's why I've been single for so long. It isn't that I'm too good for anyone, it's that I'm so way not.

Fringes, that makes good sense. I dunno if I'm equipped to juggle like that, which is a good thing I signed up for six months, with that additional 6 for free. I might have to go through those six one at a time. I mean it's easy to flirt with a number of ladies who already have men, but I couldn't do it if you guys really were available AND interested in me. It feels disloyal somehow to show interest in one, and say things to draw them into my world, and be doing the same thing to a few others. Because, what happens if two or three are interested in me? I date them all? And what if I catch feelings for more than one? I start a harem? :-)
At worst, I'm a naive moron. At best, I'm a dating noob.

Ned, you should look into being a counselor. You've got some good wisdom on ya. I do wonder what my agenda is. And remember me being scared and saying so many things could go wrong? That's me terrified of all the things I don't know about her. For instance, she likes wine-tasting events. Is that a cover up for the fact that she drinks heavily? On other fronts, does she have a raging temper? Body odor? Low tolerance for my failures? Is she a control freak? So much to navigate through, and it's pretty daunting. I guess I'm trying to psych myself into pursuing this past my fears. Maybe it's what we all do--and maybe that's why we sometimes get involved in relationships that aren't great. Or maybe that's what relationships are--just pushing on past the stuff we don't like by constructing that we do like, even if it's really not there.

I welcome every reality-check you guys can give to help me stay grounded. In the longrun, I just want to end up happy--with or without a PoI. :-)

The Neighbor said...

Alan, you illustrate my point so beautifully about reading things into people. There are many unsaid things about me that would, in my opinion (and probably yours if I chose to share them), disqualify me, but I'm flattered nonetheless.

As for having an agenda - we all do - don't let it paralyze you. Just ask yourself very honestly what yours is, and follow it. After years of soul searching, I've determined that my agenda is to matter to someone, in a fundamental way. I don't really care what it looks like past that.

Yours might be for physical comforts, someone to cook and clean for you, someone who complements your world view, rainy night companionship for movies and nachos - all of these are valid, as long as you are honest about them.

For now, go ahead and let your imagination run wild, and if you have questions or concerns about your match, I say address them directly.

It takes a special kind of balls to do this well, and IMO, you're doing it well. You've got wit, intelligence, a career, and you're wired to communicate. You're a quadruple threat. She's likely to be putty in your hands in no time, so you should ask yourself if you want her to be putty in your hands.

SolarisGal said...

I'm so happy for you! Doesn't it feel great? I'm having a little adventure of my own - so I know how you feel ;) lololol

Alan said...

Ned, putty in my hands sounds messy. And frought with the potential to abuse. But I get the sense that I'm pretty squishy in her hands too. She's got me dancing on the string waiting for her every word.

Sol, I figured as much when you shut your blog down! Congrats, girl! After all the stress you've been under, you deserve to enjoy some quality attention.

Scott said...

Wow! Look at all the feedback this post got. It's nice to have an iron in the fire (and don't take that too metaphorically if you know what I mean). Nice I mean to be in the chase. Have fun. Believe it or not there are girls out there that appreciate an honest to goodness guy that doesn't play emotional games. She sounds like one of them.