When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

And Let Me Say This About That

Concerning the idea of fluid sexuality, I've not shared my thoughts on God, and where He fits in with this whole thing. That's because I hadn't wanted to. Because in my extremely narrowminded religious upbringing, there was no room for any other kind of sexuality except married, hetereo sexuality. I was told you could go buck wild after you got married (Christianity no longer advocated for just the missionary position anymore. Too many converted hippies became preachers to let that old trope fly). But still you couldn't dare to imagine that it was okay for men or women to lay with their own kind and get any kind of okay from God.

Of course, I'm in tune with the movement in religion towards supporting same sex unions. Some denominations are pro, and some are still way con. The words in the Bible continue to be reviewed, re-intrepeted, and reworked until someone somewhere hears what they want to hear.

Personally, I'm staying out of all that. I've spent years of my life on one side of that fence and it took a lot out of me. A LOT.

So now, I'm perfectly content to leave it up to God. Because as far as I'm concerned, I didn't make all this, He did. So it's not up to me to sort it all out, and frankly, who can use the headaches?

But I will say this, (as self-quoted from a comment I left at Old Lady's Place), However it is that God made us, He seemed to have included a door that can swing both ways if we so choose. But it also seems that we should be acting responsibly with the design, since I know of at least four committed relationships that were devastated by a switch in one of the partner's sexuality.

So yeah, I think that even though we can do with our willies and marys whatever we want to, we should act like responsible adults about it, seeing that we don't live in vacuums. There's no excuse for hurting the people you say you love. Reasons, but no excuses.


fringes said...

Good and introspective post. There is a little thing called unconditional love that the preachers love to sell when they are marketing the lord. If it is indeed true, you are good to go either way you swing.

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Very true, Alan. Unfortunately, it's the 'gods fear' that made homosexuality so taboo, which make people so confused, and do silly things like be in a hetro partnership, cause they are in denial. Hopefully, one day, this may not be the case.

Alan said...

Vi, this is what mean when I say that there are reasons but no excuses. Sexual confusion brought on by societal taboo is a reason why gay people hurt their partners once they decide to leave a marriage and go with their inclinations. But it's no excuse.

Society is not excused for creating the atmosphere where that confusion took place, but the partner who leaves their hetereo mate is not excused either.

Everyone staring into the face of impending marriage has a responsibility not only to themselves, but to the person they are about to marry. If there is doubt, fear, and any one else's convictions other than one's own that leads into marriage, then there's a huge disservice taking place there.

I see that as having more to do with our responsibility to one another as adults than I do with God. After all, His Bible said we were supposed to love one another the way we love ourselves.

If that were in effect, I could give a toss about society before I did to a woman (by marrying her) the very thing that I'd never, ever want her to do to me.

Alan said...

Angel, I completed the deletion for you. Your name & profile link seemed to remain even after the message was gone.

Lara Croft said...

I hear you, my particular dilemma came when my ex husband left me and the divorce was paid by his next wife to be, my dilemma? Never have sex again or commit adultery?
There is a reason I say the sinners prayer each and everynight, in a perfect world I wouldn't have too. The ten commandments were broken because the only way our souls could be saved was by the power of the blood of the lamb, on that cross. Okay enough of my rant but you get the idea, we aint perfect, we were born of sin, I agree with your post too, trying to do the right thing by others is extremely important as with being honest with all dealings with others and ourselves.

angel said...

Thanks, Alan!

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Hi Alan, If I dont get a chance to visit you again before I leave to Oz, I'd like to wish you a Merry Christmas! Hope you have a good one!.

Alan said...

Lara, your views sound more conservative than mine have become. But I was way more conservative than even that. We were led to believe that divorced people weren't ever even supposed to "be" with other people unless it were their original spouse. So signed or not, my original church would have painted you with the Bad brush for being divorced.

Heck, my original church painted EVERYBODY with the Bad brush. That religion was/is so full of self-condemnation and self-loathing that it's a wonder we ever supposed God loved us at all.

Nowadays, I run at the first sign of condemnation from the pulpit. I never ever want to go back under that kind of oppression again.

What I want is to enjoy the love that God has for me, and do that with the proper perspective about sin. I know it is still a factor in the whole redemption plan, and that the concept of "sin" is not something I'm willing to dismiss.

I just need to figure out what to do with my life and still avoid breaking God's heart with the choices I make.

For instance, my porn consumption and sexual education ... I doubt that I'm following His exact plan for me.

Yet I know I'm avoiding the overt things that would make me feel like I've definitely crossed a line that God drew--that is, I'm being carnal all by my lonely.

And yet, it seems that if I don't go across that line, I'll never understand what it is that I'm trying to figure out. In other words, it seems like I have to experience certain sins in order to increase the chances of having a good and lasting marriage in the future.

I'm like Ouroborous -- the snake eating his own tail.

Meanwhile, Vi, thanks and same to you! Have a great trip!

Lara Croft said...

God knows our heart mate, I keep that thought close, I prefer to have a relationship with god on a one on one basis, there is always a place for churches but like you i find mans way at the pulpit oppressing and lacking choice, god willingly gave us choices, and it our choices that will be judged by him and him alone come judgement day, therefore I stick with god knows my heart. Some might consider it a cop out but the heart never lies.

SolarisGal said...

Hey Alan - I had a pretty conservative religious upbringing as well, so I know where you are coming from. ;)