When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Friday, September 12, 2008


Now, I ask you. Was this necessary? No, not 'was it necessary to take this picture?' because yes, it was. I had to! I couldn't let this perfectly illustrated reason for my protest of flip-flops to go by unexploited! Why should I and the citizens of the 1 train suffer alone?!

So...how does a man get to the level of either apathy or self-actualization to bare feet like these?

And you should thank the god you pray to that my stealthy picture-taking skills were not good enough to get the clear details of those nails.



Scott said...

I have to admit to wearing flip-flops as well. And my feet are not pretty by any stretch of the imagination. Clean, yes, pretty, no.

Alan said...

"...and Alan's House of Mancrush Cards came crashing down around him in one fell swoop..."

LOL! Scott, you are by no means alone. There sems to be an American cultural norm in the subsets of the White, East Indian, and Latino male, with a smattering of representation from some Blacks (Yes, I'm talking to YOU Childhood Bud!). It seems to encapsulate a sentiment such as, "This is my shirt. These are my hands. This is my belt. These are my feet."

In "Notting Hill" there was a scene betwee Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant where Hugh had her over to his flat, and his bare feet were propped up on the coffee table between them. Lacking for conversation, Julia made an idle mention that Hugh's big were big. Hugh takes it in stride with a response like "Yes, they quite are--always have been." Julia tries to parlay it into a jokey innuendo about foot size, but I saw the scene as quite natural. I'm aware that this foot-baring happens quite often between couples. It seems so natural when women do it, but in my mind, when a man does it--it's just ... I dunno ... more.

Ease of Feet.

I envy it.

Scott said...

That's funny because it was my wife that originally got me into it. Otherwise it was always sneakers or Doc Martins. Oh well, I think women just like to emasculate us to prove that we can be tamed.

Alan said...

Maybe the woman is the key. Once you've had a girl see your feet and still accept you (and the rest of you) then maybe there's nothing and no one else in the world who can ever make you ashamed of them.

Okay, where did that come from...?

Scott said...

Really I think it's once she's heard you snore--all night long. You can let it all hang out if she's still there in the morning.

Alan said...


And don't forget the farting! Let one of those "ppphHHAAAAALLLLRRGGFPFPFPFPPPppphhh"s go, and you'll know if you have a keeper or not!


A Shade Of Scorpio said...

Gentlemen ~

One lingering-get-any-on-ya kind of fart is ok just so we know you are capable. Doing it morning after morning after you have seen our EyeRoll is probably not preferable. =)

The Neighbor said...


SF woke up one morning and said - you were snoring - and never spent the night again. Hopefully, a coincidence, but I was a bit heavier then.

I agree with Scott, though - if she tolerates it, she's bought in on some level.

Except for one tiny thing. Doc MartEn's. I wore a pair myself today. As yet fungus free.

GrizzBabe said...

Ewww. Male feet. Nasty. If ya'll would take care of them every once in a while it wouldn't be so bad.

And don't get me started on the farts. The Boyfriend was so disappointed when I told him he couldn't intentionally fart around me, because he's done it before and I almost fainted.

There's a fine line between feeling comfortable enough in a relationship to let it all hang out and farting all the romance away.

Scott said...

To think I missed out on adding more to this intellectual conversation! I sort of have an agreement with my wife about farts, as in, I don't do them in her presence. I'm good with that. Growing up, my dad would lay them out and we'd all sit around laughing like jackals, and I think that can just go down as an historical anomaly.

Scott said...

Oh, and as for snoring, my wife solved the problem by fixing my pillows so that my head is propped in a certain position that clears the airways. Apparently I don't do it anymore, but I still catch myself sometimes.