When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Sunday, May 4, 2008

T-Minus Six Hours, Seven Minutes And Counting

Last night I went to see "Iron Man" with my Westchester Geek Squad. These are friends that like to meet up every two weeks for D&D, but sometimes misses, and it might end up being a month between get-togethers. Somehow, we're very connected. I've known the Girl of the Group longer than I've known MFTD--and that's about 20-25 years. Grim Jester is a part of this group, and he was the one who helped me move when I was evicted. He has shining moments of blazingly loyal friendship, but usually he's a miserable human who finds the good in very little (and even HE liked this movie). He challenged me once on how to have a friendship, and I'd adopted it--which served him very well when I was ready to dump him.

The movie was great. I highly recommend! Sitting in the theater, I realized how fast today was coming on me and I wanted to run screaming. In the middle of friends and geekdom. I felt so miserably afraid. It was like the seconds before the plane takes off, or the rollercoaster crests the apex of the first drop. My brain screams "Why are you putting me THROUGH this?!"

The answer is simple. This act of bonding is something that is 'normal' and I want to be 'normal'. I want to belong.

But you say it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we'll marry.


GrizzBabe said...

Breeeaaathe. Slowly inhale. . .hold it for a second. . .now slowly exhale.

You're gonna be okay. You'll be nervous right up until you speak your first few sentences, but that's okay. That just means you are normal, like the rest of us. I promise you. You will live to tell the story.

This reminds me of the first time The Boyfriend and I spoke on the phone. I had decided to call him on a Sunday. I spent the afternoon in a movie theatre watching Dave Chappelle's Block Pary with my stomach tied up in knots the entire time. I still managed to enjoy the movie though. I wished that I didn't have to feel so nervous, and I wanted to hurry up and get it over with already. I was nervous for those first few minutes, but I relaxed eventually and was my normal charming self. ;)

Regardless of whether Match Girl is the The One or not, I hope you both manage to have a good time.

GrizzBabe said...

And that Carly Simon song is the most depressing thing I've heard in a long time.

A Shade Of Scorpio said...

I love your honesty (of course what you show the world..how can we know all of it!). I have a question or two for ya - there are things I would write about but for fear of those people actually finding it and reading it! Do the people you speak of read your blog? I don't want to offend and at the same time, don't want to be censored.
Question #2 - how do you upload the youtube videos? I added my blog to whatever it was I think on Youtube but well...that was the end of that.

Was yesterday THE date??? Can't wait to read about that! Does she read the blog???

Alan said...

Grizz, The song--I KNOW, right?!? I hate that I did it to ya, but it's a sharing thing. This song perfectly illustrates the fear and dread and resignation sometimes.

But then I'm going to post again in a few minutes with a picture of something that picked me right up and made me ready.

--And now I just got a phone call from my boss concerning my day job, and I'm going to share that too--

Dawn, the people I speak about on the outside of the blog do not read it. Grim used to read it, but he moved on. He only read it to see if I was talking about him, but I didn't talk about him often enough so he stopped. Bwa!!

You paste a YouTube in your blog like so; On the right of the player is the info of the vid and you must click the "(more)" link to expand the full text. At the bottom of the info text are two little lines of HTML code (we non-techies call it "gibberish") each in its own window. The windows are labeled "URL" and "Embed". You copy the gibberish in the window labelled "Embed" and then you just paste that gibberish in your next blogpost. If the gibberish actually says "Not allowed" or something like that, then the person who put up the vid made it impossible to "embed" the video in your or anyone else's blog.