As an aside, I noticed that this title is a psych test. How many read it as "On The Friends That Annoy You..." and how many read it as "On Becoming Annoying To Your Friends..."
Unfortunately, I'm guilty of the latter. I've stated somewhere in the millions of words of my blog(s) that I would do almost anything, anything at all, to prevent folks from getting mad at me. I've mentioned how crumbly in the guts I go when I've garnered someone's disapproval. And how, when it comes to a relationship that I may one day be blessed to become one half of, if my partner were to blast me with something harsh, or a particularly biting critique, it would unseat me for a while. Unseat me as a partner, as an equal, and as a man. That's just how disgustingly fragile it seemed that I was. It made my concerns focus on the possibility that I couldn't be in a relationship at all.
Well, I thought I had made some headway in this area. I thought handling the rejection from Match Girl-I was a banner success. However, I realize now that Match Girl-I's rejection wasn't given as anything disapproving or harsh. There was no fight. So I could accept it. And in not being a fighter, I let her go, easily.
But I find that I'm still vulnerable to disapproval and rejection. I find it still feels like I've been turned over and all the worms and bugs have been uncovered, and everybody around me is reeling back in disgust and scorn.
So what happened was that I annoyed a friend. I went too far and pushed a boundary that I should not have done. So I got my hand slapped.
And that's it really. Nothing more dramatic than that (I hope), even though it feels like I've committed something much worse.
So the lesson I have to learn is that annoying someone is not the same thing as being declared as an eternal enemy, rejected forever, never to be appreciated or loved again. It's a lesson in direct contradiction with how I was raised, so it's a lesson that I have to continue to struggle with. Everyone is not my mother. People can get mad at me and still want me around.
I'll learn that.
And that's all I'll say about that.