When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Sunday, July 1, 2007

My Right Eye, Lower Eyelid, Keeps Twitching ...

... for about three days now. I suppose there's some stress seeping out through there, because I've been too happy to let it bother me otherwise.

Then Worst-Case Scenario Man stopped by for a chat.

My actual moving date was delayed for a week because the roommate who has the apartment in his name wanted to let "my" room's present occupant take another week to leave. It all seemed on the up-and-up. I was at the apartment again on Friday and explored more of the neighborhood. Across the street is Isham Park which affords lush green hills, a view of the Palisades, and open air --if that's your bag. But if I don't climb the steps to get to the top of the first hill, then I keep myself surrounded by the beautiful NYC architecture (this is practical in the months when all the green turns brown and barren). So on Friday I left my security check and this coming Friday (payday) I give my July-minus-a-week rent. This way, I don't even have to borrow the money from MTFD.

Cool, right?

But Worst-Case Scenario Man came by and told me that it's all a scam. They took my check and will never let me move in. They line up prospective renters all week, approve every one of them, then take their security deposits and leave Inwood never to be traced again.

That's an elaborate scam, I'll admit. Worthy of David Mamet. I hope it doesn't apply to me, though. I don't make a good movie hero. Wait, yes I do. Samuel L Jackson-style. Kicking doors down and cussin' m-f'ers out until they GIVE ME BACK MAH MONEY!!

But the lessor's room looked far too cluttered to have been a sham. And I have his name and his profession, and saw proof of his occupation in his room, and can track him down on the internet (done) because he is a semi-famous musician.

So take THAT, Worst-Case Scenario Man. I have defeated you again!

Meanwhile, I'm growing more and more melancholy about giving up my cat. I've had her for at least 7 years now. I got her in Springfield, MO when she was just a kitten, straining through the bars of the shelter with paw outstretched and protesting mouth wide open in high meow. How can I toss her back to the bars? Is her life nothing more than an amusement for me to use and discard? Is she a person, or just a pet?

And will she recover in a new environment, or will she wither and die, heartsick by our separation?

Best case scenario--she's just an animal, and animals survive. She likes people--she'll thrive with others.

But I'll miss her. That's the thing.

No, I gotta move on. I got to replace cats with Woman. If I'm lonely without my cat, then GOOD. Maybe that'll give me the strength to step up to the plate and get this life of mine filled.

But SHHH! Don't tell my Woman-To-Be that she's just a replacement for a feline. :)


Anonymous said...

Good to not let the what-could-go-wrongs get to you.

The best part? When you announce the apartment warming party; I-80 is so close to you that the drive is 99% a straight shot on that highway.

I am rapidly running out of excuses to avoid NYC...


pinknest said...

haha, i'm telling!!

Alan said...

My only caveat for you is to bring lots of money. If you follow Pinkest's blog, you'll see the cost of living like a rockstar.

But it's so worth it.

"You can reach me by Trailways.
You can reach me in an airplane.
You can make it in a big balloon
but you better make it soon.

You can make it on a speedy colt,
cross the border in a blaze of old
get here if you can."

Scott said...

Your buddy might be paranoid, but it's always smart to consider that viewpoint. Does the cat have a new home to go to?

Alan said...

My buddy, Worst-Case Scenario Man? Yeah, I considered it might be true. It would not have been happy times.

But the universe has been playing fair with me lately. :))

No home for the kitty yet. I've been seriously avoiding the doing.