When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Monday, March 24, 2008

I'm Going Straight To Hell


And this is why.

Here's the thing; I'm thinking maybe he wasn't being good to her. Being found dead is different than being killed. It's Heath Ledger all over again, except I haven't pledged undying love to Michelle Williams. I mean, if a man was arrested for supplying drugs to him, doesn't that mean that he was taking them? And if he took them, doesn't that mean ... y'kmow ... that he was a user? So maybe he wasn't that great of a husband? Like Heath and Michelle wasn't together, maybe this guy and She wasn't together? And so, tragic as it certainly is, maybe she's breathing a little easier? I mean, no, yeah, she's heartbroken now. I mean, she loved him, yeah, I get that. Most people who get married once loved who they marry, if not still, but ... drug users have issues, man. And drug users who use enough to kill them have a LOT of issues. And by the time She has worked through these issues, and has grieved, and has accepted, and is ready to love again--why, she'd be in her 30's and I ... I mean, I'd ...

...I'm going straight to hell.

5 comments:

GrizzBabe said...

I think yours would be the perfect shoulder to cry on.

Alan said...

Oh my God, Grizzbabe, you have only the merest fraction of a scintilla of an idea.

Do you see the kind of cosmic joke being played out here? I gush and gush about the woman. I leave it go for a while, reality settling in deep. Then, I revisit the phenomenon that is Her in a blizzardy whirlwind of YouTubeage, and the day after--THE DAY AFTER I re-homage one of her newly discovered vids singing one of my heart-rippingly all-time favorite songs -- HER HUSBAND DIES?!?!

I mean WHAT. THE. F?!!! MAN!!!?!?

And if you think for one nanosecond that I wouldn't offer this shoulder, given a chance...if you think that in a world of impossible improbabilities where the sky never touches the ground...that if it isn't within the realm of even MY skewed reality that I could someday lend her an ear, a voice, an embrace ...

It's crazy, but ... I mean, I should stop this before I need a prescription ... but ...

I mean, come on.

If Scott could find his and create two future geniuses and Mike could get engaged again, and you can have The Boyfriend, and Gyuss Baltaar could steal one sideways glance at a friend and know, and if Q can do 650 miles a week and Fringes can have all 7 of her points ticked off the list, and Vi can celebrate through tragedy and Childhood Bud can have a third child without even trying, and Karma can forgive and survive, and Coaster can enter into the next decade of devoted monogamy and Wendy Williams' difficult pregnancy after 5 miscarriages can eight years later do promos for her
successful radio show, and if a fatherless kid can grow up on Spiderman to one day become the Next Great Superhero ...

...if dreams can come true for you guys ...

if dreams can ever come true for anybody ...

then why not, man?

Alan said...

Why not?

GrizzBabe said...

Exactly!!!

GrizzBabe said...

Why the hell not?