... I find they aren't taking away a lonely pang. I must confess, I know about SSRIs but not everything about them. I don't know which chemical in my brain or body that the meds effect except the name "serotonin". And even then I know it has something to do with feeling good, and I certainly do feel better. I'm not as weighed down.
But I am still alone. And I do still feel the absence of dear people that I want to be with. And while I'm not as hesitant to pick up the phone and call folks, I still have the same questions in my head about the act of calling. Will they be annoyed that I called? Will they be too busy to talk to me? Will I contact them too often and will they come to dread seeing my number/name on their identifier? When I consider that the answer to any of those questions may be "Yes," I don't feel the same terror at that prospect. It doesn't make me feel diminshed or worthless anymore. I guess feeling better physically & emotionally helps me be a little quicker on the defense mechanisms--a little more able to tell myself that I'm an okay guy with a lot to offer.
But the fact remains as well that I'm a needy, okay guy with a lot to offer. I'm a forty-something guy who misses the company of distant friends and the central attention and comfort of a significant human being. The meds are not erasing the fact that I just need a good hug.
I have to find a way to get a good hug. :-)