Sorry. Sorry sorry sorry. This post will have precisely nothing to do with the Mets. Or any sports at all. Unless you consider this volleying back and forth of my emotions a sport.
In the last few days GrimJester and MFTD have given me two plans to leave my day job and stretch out and attempt to turn my night job into a fulltime gig. So I'm getting that wanderlust again.
When This Redeemable Life gets stagnant (not the blog but the actual article in question --the life) then I get the urge to pick up and scoot. Last year I didn't feel like I should go a'wandering because I was exiled to George's basement and paying no rent and so should've been saving a ton of money (even though I wasn't) instead of going anywhere. But I DID pay off all my creditors and eliminated that debt. But then the car accident advented (the first one) and I needed to buy a new car. And that was when George gave me my walking papers. I've gone by his house a few times during the last year (fortuitously missing him) and saw that the "putting the house for sale" excuse was a total lie. He probably saw me buying a new car a got insulted that I was freeloading off him--although that's exactly what he offered for me to do. I guess if a bloke is doing badly, you feel more charitable than if a bloke is doing well. But trust and believe--I am more grateful to George for kicking me out than I am to him for taking me in. HAHA! It's TRUE!
So the move back to New York scratched that wanderlust itch last year. Now ... I'm getting it again. Moving is like I'm actually doing something constructive in my life. And the sense of putting the past behind me, or at least, the sense of dropping a pile of responsibility is a heady one. It's like coming out of a chrysalis and flying free.
It could very well be a poor replacement for changing my life with a relationship, but let's face it. That's just not going to happen to me. I'm on meds, and now I'm happy not trying anymore. It's such a hassle. Maybe not for you, dear reader, but it is for me. It's just who I am. As a therapist, I get the chance to interact with the most intimate details of the lives of human beings and make a difference in their lives for the better. That is full of relationship satisfaction. And I get paid for it. With a potential of making a LOT of it (money). Thereby being able to buy all the comicbooks I want. And take as many trips as I want. And I think that's just going to be me. No fuss, no muss.
So I want to quit my day job, sell off my car, (even if at a loss), to get rid of the payments and insurance costs and the gas prices and the bridge toll (40.00 a week), and take on more clients at the counseling center to become a full time therapist.
But mostly, I want to scratch this itch. And watch Doctor Who. And read blogs, answer e-mail, and post on comicbooks blogs and make adventure audios.
And be happy.
I wanna be happy.