When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Upsell ME, BeeYOTches!!!?

So I had just came off a disagreeable phone discussion with the director of the counseling center where I do part time when I walked into the Chipotle. Thus, I was in a bad mood and I'm not ready to tell you why.

But I was on line in the Chipotle for a while, muttering under my breath, trying to get a call through to MFTD for comfort and consultation since his doctorate is in my profession, when I order the burrito bowl with just beans and pork, to which I wanted to add guac on it. That's all I wanted. Keep your rice, your corn, your salsa, your everything else. Server Dude goes, "Guac is extra, okay?" I say, yeah okay, and Server Dude dabs a few spoonfuls on top of the pork. The guy next to me is offered guac on his food too, and he asks "How much?" and Server Dude says "TWO DOLLARS" and I said, actually aloud, "WHAT?!" I told that guy that his was the question I should have asked. After this I told them to put on the corn and the lettuce since I was going to have to pay so much extra. Yes, I said all that aloud.

Bastards.

You tell me it's extra, but you don't tell HOW MUCH extra unless specifically asked?!? And OF COURSE you wouldn't willfully tell that the meager blobs of guacamole you grace us with is TWO whole frikkin' DOLLARS, when the original frikkin' price of the bowl is only 7.61 cents!!!!!

You BASTARDS.

And here I was not even getting the rice and the salsa, and you're STILL going to charge me $9.61 because of a measely 3 fingers' worth of green slime?!?!?

Underhanded, price-gouging, sneaky upselling BASTARDS.

So you know what I did, right? Hellllll right I did.

I took a fistful of forks and a fistful of knives, a pile of napkins thick as my fist, a lil container of lemon slices (the containers are right there, nicely next to the forks for your use), and a lil container of limes, and a fistful of toothpicks.

Ya dammmmmn right I did. Charge me an extra two dollars fer nuthin' willya??!

Never. Again.

3 comments:

Trixie said...

I would have walked out not paying for anything at all taking my business elsewhere!

GrizzBabe said...

Toothpicks?

Alan said...

I was hungry though, Trixie, lol!

They were there, Grizz, and I was mad. So I took them. Gladly. I was going to get my two dollars worth.