So, here's the deal. A few Saturdays ago (the 5th) I hopped on board the MetroNorth and went to CT to visit MFTD. His wife and baby went out to her homestate for the 4th, so MFTD wanted some company. He was 30 lbs. lighter than the last time I saw him. How'd he do this, with his Type-AAA personality, with no time to fart, let alone exercize or count all his money?
Nutrisystem. That's right. The freeze-dried, vacuum-sealed, pre-packaged, pre-weighed, insta-meals that helped fatties all over the country hack off 30-60 lbs. without lifting a finger. Of course I was skeptical ... before I laid eyes on MFTD. And MFTD is not a sucker. If the food was nasty, he would have told me. But what he did do was give me three "meals" to try. A chicken patty, a cup of scrambled eggs, and a pasta bowl (cheese tortellini).
Yeah, powdered eggs to add water to and microwave. Makes the stomach gurgle just to hear the description, right? But I tried it.
IT WAS EGGS!!! Really scrambled eggs!! I could not believe it!! And totally hot (not Hilton hot, but thermometer hot). And filling!! I was good for hours afterwards.
But the key is that you eat this stuff, and a few hours later eat something else, then a few hours later something else, rinse repeat all day. Six meals. Some of those meals being fruit, which I like. Some of those being snack chips. Some of those being cake or cookies as desert.
The cheese tortellini, great!! Sweet sauce and tasty, tender, sizable rolls of pasta!
And then this chicken patty. I was soooo dubious. I saved this for last and I carried it everywhere without nuking it. That means unrefrigerated. (That's right--you don't store this stuff in the fridge--even the meats!)
It was E-YUMM!
So today, on payday, I ordered my first month. It is indeed, as they advertise, about $10 a day. You pay monthly. And I do not plan to spend a single solitary dime for fastfood while I'm eating this stuff, because trust and believe, I spend WAY more than $10 on fast food (and restaurant food) per day already. This will be me actually saving money.
And losing weight.
So I went as far as to take a picture of myself in swim trunks. (Shorts, not speedos--because hey, not to brag, but the only place I could post myself in speedos is on a gay porn pic site. I'm just saying. I can't be having my goodies on such display. I'm a working professional with a license, after all. But I digress.)
I know for a fact that I will lose the 30 pounds that I want to. And then I will take the "After" shot in these same shorts.
And I will post it then. For 24 hrs.
Why do this?
Because I admit to myself as I to and fro in the City of The Beautiful,that if I were built like some of these weekend warriors, I'd go barechested too.Of course, the thought starts as, "You big showoff, braggadocious, amazing-looking yummy bastard..." but then I cave and know for a fact that I'd strut mines too if I carried like they do.
And so, I will. I promise. And to keep it humble, I'll post it with the "Before" pic that I took today. So keep checking in a few months. I'll be so fine you won't know how to act! BTW, I took all these pics myself. No one's sacred!!