I went to see a play tonight, which was recommended by the Geeks I Know And Partied With some months back. I've been trying to get together with them again, but they seem to have intermittent unavailability whenever I try. We're talking suspicious unavailability. Like, "They're Just Not That Into You" suspicious.
Of all the struggles I've contended with, the least was the fear of unpopularity. I've always had people in my life who I liked a whole bunch. I think they're called "friends" in these parts. The extra dimension of intimacy is what I've had a hard time crossing over to. Only in the last two years have I taken steps to reveal my feelings towards others, which I've learned from the blogworld. I've learned to let my guard down and tell people how I've really felt about them--and by "really felt" I mean just the positive stuff. It just feels good to uplift my fellow bloggers, especially when they deserve it.
As I headed off alone to the play tonight, I really felt the absence of my friends. It was a horrible but controllable aloneness. It's Saturday night in NYC, and I'm going to a play about superheroes. Something made me think I should have been more happy. But not so much.
The play was fun, though. "Save The World" was a gritty, mature treatment of individuals who face world crises and try to meet the challenge while being no more than flawed, ordinary humans with extra tools for the job. The stage direction projected the powers more with suggestion and sound effects than with flash or pomp. It was inspired.
During the intermission, a kind of bumbly guy in front of me suddenly waved to a girl in another close-by row (it was a small theater---very artsy, off-Broadway affair). They smiled brightly at one another and had the following conversation in hushed tones, but wide open mouths;
He: "Heeyyy! I just called you! Like, ten minutes ago!"
She: "On my phone?!"
He: "Yeah, I didn't know you were right there!"
She: "I couldn't answer it! I was at a play!"
He: "What play was it?"
She: "I don't know the name of it, but it's about superheroes...!"
This was all tongue-in-cheek, mind you, gaging their facial expressions. It was just a nice witty little exchange which led him to usher her out of the theater so they could continue the banter before the intermission was over. They were both just all teeth and impressions and happy. Boy meets girl.
So I'm a little sad tonight and a little lonely, with a little self-pity thrown in. It does feel like I should try to get used to The Alone Life, but it's hard when nobody else seems to want to do it too. :-)