When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Sidebars ... And Then Not

First of all--only in New York. This news article makes me despair of the human race, sometimes, I do declare. That's just too ridiculous to contemplate. This is why some countries absolutely hate America.

Secondly, last night at My Night Job, I made a startling discovery. Snapper is a junkie. Not the needles & tie-off-a-vein version, but a suburban, self-medicating bored white kid stoner-with-short-hair version. The longer I work with him, the more he spills. So last night he reveals that he and his friend get high every night. What he doesn't know is that the systematic death of his brain cells is no mystery to anyone else but him. Remember I said he was slow? Now we know why. The other revelation that he disclosed last night is that he is kickin' it with Red (the fellow employee who I only mentioned once because she's harmless. And, apparently, into getting stoned and flirting around with Snapper in his basement mano a mano).

People are hooking up around me like it's the mating special on the Animal Channel. A few other weeks ago, I watched Baby Boy get a girl's digits while he took her order. He was very smooth and I had to give him his props after she left. And he confessed that he already had her digits, but he wanted to have a reason to talk to her some more.

Then in my Friday night D&D group, the geeks are getting their mack on as well! The DM brings his girlfriend to the game because she enjoys the game and knows the rules. But she's hot as a Victoria's Secret model. I isht you not. She works at a cosmetics counter in THE biggest department store in NYC. Then another feller in the group, who I've gamed with in another group a few years ago, got married to his live-in girlfriend two weeks ago. And lately, another in the group has started bringing his girlfriend to the meetings. She's new to his life, and she's a cute waifish little blonde who doesn't play D&D but digs him enough to hang out while we play -- for HOURS. Now that's some love right there. (Or desperation).

So that brings me to my sitch.

All your comments on what I should do with Day Girl are spot on. If I had a client with the same questions, I would have said the same things. But it wasn't a test of your counseling skills, I promise. It's just a totally different thing between my head and heart.

What I know is right doesn't always translate to my emotions. See, Worst-Case Scenario Man (my inner demon) doesn't pester me about other people's problems--only my own. What looks like shyness inside of me is actually terrification(TM). A litany of Worst-Case Scenarios pour through me like ticker tape. "What if this, what if that, what if the other ..." and on and on and every answer to every question equates to disaster. Life-changing results to insure misery and torture for the rest of my meager existence on the planet. And when the Worst Cases are flowing through, they come with this paralyzing nerve agent that locks up my tongue. You've seen this in movies and television shows, I'm sure. I'm here to verify for you ... it's real.

Having said all that, I am going to ask Day Girl out. I will get her telephone # from her sister, who she revealed works at one of the sites I go to regularly. She also lives in a nearby New Jersey city which has a transportation line directly to NYC. I plan to ask her to dinner and a movie in NYC, because that's where I shine.

And then I think I'll probably need to blog like an absolute fiend.

The "what ifs" are starting ...

I'm going to schedule an emergency meeting with my therapist ...

... and with all of you, of course ...



Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Go Alan go!!!! Yes ask her out! (Just don't say let's hookup! lol)

Alan said...

Noted, Vi!

mt_detroit said...

Don't use Lets Rock out with our ***s Out either.

But if you get the chance Rock out with you *** out!!!!

Alan said...

MT, you're like the drinking buddy I never had. :)

Lara Croft said...

Make sure your attracted to her personality or least make it appear that way lol

SolarisGal said...

Yeah, Alan - go for it - you have nothing to lose, and we want to see you happy!

By the way, the expensive desert reminds me of a time i went to have a sushi dinner in midtown Manhattan - the chef played a joke on me and brought out a fancy salmon steak and asked me to try it. They spoke to me in Japanese, so I agreed to eat it. They came back with the bill - it was $300, I almost had a heart attack. But then they started to laugh, said that it was a joke, and they wouldn't do that to me since I'm a regular LOL

Who Me? said...

"Only in America"!

That is a common saying here downunder :)

Life is short....and we can never have too many friends. Take the chance and see what happens :)

GrizzBabe said...

I think you made the right decision and I'm anxious to know how it all turns out.

Who Me? said...

Well? What's happening darling?

Alan said...

Well ... I let the weekend pass with me at default. That is, I didn't see her sister on Thursday, so I didn't send a message of interest, and I went back to my comfort zone in my New York apartment room. :/

Played D&D on Friday Night, stayed in the apartment all day Saturday, just watching television and working on the audio drama, and yesterday, more audio drama and then I went out to have "dinner" (two croissants and a tea) at my favorite B&N on Broadway.

Today is a holiday, but I have to work tonight in the B&N in Jersey, so I'll do some more audio drama stuff, then go over to Jersey, workout at the gym -- do more audio drama -- then go to work.

Thing is, I know how to reach Day Girl. I can just leave her a message at the site that she works and ask her to give me a call on my work cellphone or my personal one. And it isn't as if I don't want to. I do, actually.

And I want to be a millionaire and I want to fly like Superman too. :\

Tomorrow I see my therapist. Meanwhile, I'll take all the encouragement I can get. I'm at the edge of the cliff again and contacting Day Girl is the first step out onto the spindly little limb that protrudes over the drop.

GrizzBabe said...

You can do it, Alan!

mt_detroit said...

Get up! Go to the store. Buy a single rose. You can do that right? No pressure.

Now you have the rose. You have to do something with it. Go to her work. I know your stomach is turning now. Get out of your car anyway! Do it quick.

Okay you are going to look like a fool standing there with a rose. You have to walk. Might as well walk in.

You see her, she sees you, you have a rose. Smile, hand rose to her. stutter the word date friday. Smile, stutter can't wait.

When you get home you will realize that she gave you her number and you have a date.

Awesome huh! You can do it one step at a time! She will love the gesture!

GrizzBabe said...

I like mt_detroit's style!