When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Friday, November 16, 2007

Internetters Beware

Here's another case of misleading profiles, only this one didn't end as a happy lesson learned.

I think that's the double-edged sword of internet friendships and blogging. For people like me who are guarded and have our social challenges, the internet is a perfect place to disclose ourselves and search for the acceptance we can't seem to manage with face-to-face humans. When we are given the time and ability to type clear and thought-out sentences, we can say what we really want to say without a stumbling tongue or a seizure of adrenaline turning our words into rubbish. Notably, I have felt able to pay compliments to men writers/bloggers that I never could have been able to say aloud, for fear of implosion. (You know our society frowns on open affection between guys! We can only get away with punching each other, doing a tribal series of handshakes, or slapping each other on the butts while wearing matching uniforms.)

But my "disability" also make me vulnerable to devastating rejection, and the poor girl in the above story was not old enough or stable enough to handle it when a reader or commentor turned out to be cruel and a liar. It isn't a legal crime to perpetrate that kind of deception, but it is an egregious lack of integrity and ethic, not to mention irresponsible and callous in the extreme. This is why there's religion. You want to believe that someone somewhere is going to punish that kind of human depravity where human law fails.

Or maybe I'm just in a bad mood.

Day Girl has not responded to my two attempts to have her call me. Again, she could be the shy one, except that doesn't bear out when I consider how many times she popped into my office to say hello. Maybe she hates talking on the phone as much as I used to. Maybe she's married and just wanted me to give her a quickie on my desk.

Who knows.

But I'm glad to report that the failure to connect to either Day Girl or New Employee has not turned off my "head"lights. I don't feel worse off for trying. I feel accomplished that I am trying, in fact. It feels better knowing that I'm stepping up to the plate rather than sitting on the bench, too petrified to take a hold of the bat. And as long as I am still in the game, I might as well stay prepared for more pitches. (Check out my sports-fu, Scott! :-D )

I got this far, why not keep going?

So outside of the workplace, what other suggestions can I get for where I might find the Future Mrs. Redeemable Life?


Who Me? said...

My Suggestion....stop looking so hard Alan.

I'm not "Mrs Redeemable Life". But I figure I'm in the right age group and I also think that you and I have alot in common. e.g. (one only, there are many) we are both hopeless romantics.

Your partner is on the way. Very soon I think. You have been so honest here on your blog, and I think it will bode you well.

In the meantime...how's your mouth honey? Ready for a pash yet?

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

I outed a fake person online last night. (well I told the guy his mates were the female he thought he was talking to) and he REALLY took it hard, but I couldn't watch it happening, it is so cruel.

Alan said...

WhoM - I can so easily stop looking so hard, but then I tend not to look at all--which is how I got this way! Hard to believe, despite my devastatingly good looks, but the women of New York City just refuse to throw themselves at my feet! LOL

So is "pash" Australian for "passionate kiss" (like "Foster's" is Australian for "beer")?

Oh! In fact last night, right in front of my favorite B&N on Broadway, this guy was kissing his girlfriend (I hope) SO hard, it looked like he was going to rip her head off and poke his tongue out of the hole in the neck stump.

Viv -- That gives me the shivers. That guy became vulnerable to people that didn't deserve his trust. Not to mention all the hope that must have started in his heart, only to have it replaced by laughter from the jackals he thought were his friends. Thank God you told him before it went too far -- or maybe he took it so hard because it did go too far ...

GrizzBabe said...

I'm so glad the situation with Day Girl hasn't discouraged you. With that kind of attitude, you will find Mrs. Redeemable Life before you know it.

I think you are already doing the right things to find The One. You go to work everyday, interact with co-workers and customers, and you are activly engaged in hobbies and the social activities that surround those hobbies. What more is there for a person to do?

akakarma said...

That was a horrible story wasn't it!?
Alan, there's no rhyme or reason to dating. As I think I might have mentioned somewhere- didn't meet my H until I totally submitted to fate- just stopped trying so hard and started to set my life up just for me, as though it didn't matter if I met someone or not. It was hard but really cool! I just worked on pleasing myself and inhabiting my own space. Anyway- I wish you Luck! Is the Thomas Covenant series the one with the leperosy written by Stephen Donaldson? That was great and so dead on for me!

Sunshine said...

Wow, what a tragic story!
It reminds me of a similar thing that happened to me in my 1st year of high school. A "friend" thought it would be fun to write me letters from a secret admirer, we had a whole romance on paper from beginning to end...... of course we could never meet. The funny thing was I was so gullible that it was only years later when I found one of the letters that I realised what she had done!
I'm kind of glad that I didn't realise it at the time, I would have been so embarrassed.
Kids are so cruel to each other!
Its even sadder when adults behave that way.
I hope you find someone nice to hook up with. Its true what Karma said about finding someone when you least expect to. I was still very young but going through a stage of not being interested in guys and I met my husband when he was hitchhiking and I picked him up!
I was on my way to a church picnic and had a very wild girlfriend in the car with me who ALWAYS picked up hitchhikers, otherwise theres no way I would have stopped!
20 yrs later he is still the love of my life. Mind you I believe there was a lot of divine intervention that contributed to us meeting and even more so to us staying together, so perhaps a word of prayer would help? :)

mt_detroit said...

Well I found my girl on match.com, but we played soccer at the same place. Used to work in the same building, and had a friend in common. But had never met!

I think it is important to find someone that enjoys the things you like to do. So the best would be to find her while you are doing that. If it isn't working now then maybe you should try to broaden what you like to do.

~Angel~ said...

"Future Mrs. Redeemable Life" .. I like that.

I rarely give relationship advice (I'm not qualified) BUT perhaps stop looking so hard .. you might discover "her"

Lara Croft said...

I know its easier said than done but my motto is stop waiting for tomorrow and enjoy today. Maybe its cos im a lazy laid back aussie chick but id rather go to vegas for a week than worry about where mr right is lol