I will have departed for my party meetup with My Colleague. And I am excited. I'm not scared. I feel butterflies, but the good kind. I want more to come from this night, but I won't die if it doesn't happen. I won't even die if I blow it tonight, and say something that makes her roll her eyes and consign me to the hopeless nerd bin. Idon't plan on dumping the whole Geek Me on her, but I'm not inclined to be ashamed of anything that I am. I'll just be wise and diplomatic. I'll do whatever I would tell any of my clients to do. No pretenses, but nothing overwhelming either.
As so many of you have said, Just Be Myself.
And I can do that better than ever.
Because I LIKE myself better than ever.
So I polished me up. I shaved and trimmed my hairline. And I liked what I saw. So I dabbed a little cologne (25 year-old Stetson, for the curious) and I liked how I smelled. Then I stripped off my socks and baby-wiped with shea butter my feet--every inch--until they glowed healthy brown, ash-free, just in case they have to make an appearance tonight for whatever reason. Then I put on my business casual--what I'd wear at any time that I'm with a client. And beheld myself. WITH my little stomach pooch.
And I liked it.
I'm not a bad looking guy.
Even my feet are okay. Nails and all.
And I'm funny.
And smart.
And I have a great career.
(And so does she.)
Yeah.
I like this.
This is going to be fun. No matter what happens. Because I'm okay.
I'm O.
Kay.
6 comments:
aa-hhAHAHAAHAAAHAHAAAA!!!!!
So, I want to get there a little after seven, you know? A little late so as not to be the only one there, but not too late, right? Yeah. So at 7:15 I get a call from a client saying they're at the office waiting for me. Seems I UTTERLY forgot I had a scheduled appointment tonight. So I was all, yeah okay what how do you feel about that okay we're done! (No I wasn't, but I wanted you to laugh.) Then I come tearing out of there at 8:30, because the party is actually only around the block in a home overlooking Central Park (I know, right?) and when I get there, everybody's leaving, all going "Hey!! Where were you?! We missed you!! All the pretty girls you missed!!" This from one of the fiancees of one of the therapists who I had formed a rapport with earlier in the year (at the last party, actually). And while I'm in the hallway of this ritzy Central Park South apartment, out comes My Colleague ... WITH HER BOYFRIEND IN TOW!!! aaaHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Only ME, ladies and gentlemen, do such things happen to! Me with my beautiful feet, ready for baring!
Still, there they all were, chatting me up and laughing with my series of misadventures. All of us professional fortysomethings. And when we got on the street, I said "Do we have to wait for a once a year party? Why can't we go out on other social occasions?" I mean, honestly, I still wanted to go out. I had come for a night out! Even though My Colleague had a man (yeah, strange about that. Even though she had a man, she never introduced me to him. And she walked far apart from him. They never even touched. But when we were laughing about how we had made a promise that we'd both be at the party, she leaned her head on my shoulder. Real casual and familiar. Touching me more than her male guy.) I still wanted to go out!
Well we made an arrangement to make a date for going out on a Friday, my D&D night, and I agreed. We are going to finalize it, and then I'M GOING TO GO OUT WITH THEM.
And if My Colleague wants to ditch her man and be with me, that's fine too. And if not, that's fine too.
I want out of this shell!! I want to take advantage of the night life!!
And did I tell you about the Administrative assistant who was with the crowd, who said she would also go out with us,and has an AMAZING set of ... girls. And is young (prolly half my age) and has big dive-into eyes, and thinks I'm funny, and was at the party alone and seemed most unhappy that I was so late?
Yeah.
What a life.
I feel good.
I'm not shy anymore.
I'm ready to live.
8:30?!? What kind of party ends at 8:30? I thought New York was all wild and crazy, never sleeps, yada, yada, yada. 8:30!
Ah well- It's a New Year Alan! Have a Happy one! You're getting there aren't ya!
I am. I am getting there.
Now this sounds like the life to have, Alan. What I remember most about my single days is hanging out with my guy friends, singing Karaoke, playing my guitar, having parties, girls who were just friends and sometimes deliciously more. Now you are on the journey. Enjoy, have fun, and live.
You sound wonderful.
Hey Scott, yeah, life is better but still, I miss you, dude. When it comes to hanging out with guy friends, you and Ned are the kind of guy friends I want to hang out with. :-)
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