When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Monday, November 17, 2008

I Really DID Get A Rock!


The guy who I expected to call me on Friday called me today!!!

We'll meet next week, and he's going to interview me briefly, and we're already bonding! It'll be informal and brief over in the neighborhood where he lives in Manhattan. And would you like to guess where that neighborhood is?

Correct on the first go!! My FAVORITE neighborhood--the Upper West Side!!!!

Okay. Now. Here's what I've learned, and here's how I'm going into this interview; I need to stop idealizing these work situations. Although this guy sounds handsome and intelligent and like a great guy over the phone, I have to realize that he might be a crazily neurotic lying troll of a person. He wants me to work part time and he says they compensate well. Of course that translates to HE gets paid well. I want him to be friendly on the eyes just because it's nice to look forward to going into work. Endorphins creates a good vibe that I need to work with clients well. I have more than a few attractive clients that I like working with just because I like looking at them as we do the damn thing. Is that shallow of me? Of course. But I know there's more to it than that, and I'm good at what I do regardless of what's circling around in my melon. Plus, since I don't even kiss people and am most-likely all PTSD'd up, so I wouldn't do anything inappropriate with my clients or my bosses even if they threw their clothes across the office, had a sports brief or a Victoria Secret's push-up bra on and threw themselves at me.

What was I saying? :-D

Oh! So, I have to realize that even though I BADLY want to trade the full-time NJ job for the part-time NYC job, I have to recognize that nothing is going to be as good as I think it will. Isn't that funny? Usually I'm trying to convince myself that nothing will be as BAD as I think it'll be. I guess it's all about balance. I have to learn how to stay in the middle and accept that nothing is All Bad or All Good. And I have to learn that that's okay. To this end, I'm happy to say that I'm accepting my counseling center's director faults without wanting to run screaming from the center. I wanted him to be a big grandfather-figure to shower me with wisdom and guidance and make me a better therapist. Now, I can't trust him. He's manipulative and greedy. But I accept that. I don't feel devastated or haunted, whereas before I would have. It would have rocked my world. Now, it only warns me not to take this man's criticisms to heart anymore, and to let him have his way with the complaining and sending me notes. I'll just take them with a Plymouth Rock-sized grain of salt.

Anyway, things are looking up for real. Less time spent working with the same income equals a more rested, less beat-dowm feeling Alan! I see myself maintaining the gym schedule I've wanted to create. I see myself having real living wages without having to spend on a car. I see myself in my own apartment with a new kitty cat (yay!!!), a living room, and an expandable couch for guests who wish to visit NYC and need a nice free place to stay. (Yes, I'm looking at YOU.)

PS; I changed the phrase "for guests who wish to come to NYC" to "for guests who wish to visit NYC" because I love ya, but I'm not ready to get all with the forever cozy! Unless you want to roommate with me wearing nothing but colorful undies all day and all night.)

PPS; I really do need to switch jobs. I love this NJ gig, but I've been spending the whole day on the internet--out of sheer "tired of doing paperwork"-edness. I need a change, or I may never again render another honest day's work in my life.


GrizzBabe said...

Such a mature post, Alan.

Kathleen said...

I just wanted to say that I really liked your comments over at Scott's. They were thoughtful, mature and very calm, not the least bit angry (which is usually how I get when I talk to Republicans), so kudos to you.

Shades of Scorpio said...

Congrats on scoring the interview!!! That's awesome - keep seeing the end result, what you want it to be - the apt, the Lady Mah Mah incarnate in fur, the cozy couch and a pile o' undies!!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Oh and if it helps to have the beautiful people (ha ha...Marilyn Manson) around you, then really that's not the most horrible thing to appreciate God's goodness all over the place. It puts the uplifting vibe out there.

Scott said...

I am so totally with you on the workplace. There is nothing sweeter than have some beautiful woman in the cube next door. Not because I want to cheat on my wife, but it is just psychologically calming. I used to have lunch with such a lady almost every day (my wife knew about it). It keeps the blood flowing freely through the veins. I really think it helps us live longer.

Alan said...

What can I say? We're guys. We like the physical.