... and 3rd Level Focused Specialist! Beware my wrath!!
So I'm currently sitting at the boardroom table of my gaming buddy's workplace in Manhattan. To my left is the geek buddy who arranges the Central Park get-togethers, and his sweetheart fiancee. At the end of this month, because of emigration hangups, he's going to move to Germany since she cannot live here. And we will lose him. To her. Inevitably we always do. I'm a little mad at her, but a whole lot not. Because the connection it would take to cause a metropolitan professional in NYC (read; middle class wage earner who can afford a $2100 rent near Central Park) to pack up and leave it all behind should be pretty awesome. I can only envy him the love he must feel for her.
Across from me is the buddy who's workplace this is. He's been married a year now. Across and to the right is our friend who is meeting an internet date tonight and so he'll be cutting it short. Another woman taking one of us away. He's divorced and no doubt more lonely than he wants to tell us. To his left is a younger player who is also a New York City professional. To my far right is the Dungeon Master. He's the second oldest guy here. He's also an urban black man who lends flavor to the text at rare times with urban slang. Dungeons & Dragons, Yo.
I'm the first oldest one in this room. I've been spending a lot of years escaping my circumstances. I'm perfectly happy doing so, and thus my real life goes on eventless.
I'm in a limbo of sorts. (Yes, my terminology is borrowed. To you from whom I have borrowed this from, please attend to my analogy.) I was sequestered away from the fear of coping with a same-sex attraction. Now I'm coping. Yet it's still safer to stay inside this limbo. It'll be a challenge to come out and face my feelings. A challenge to sideline or press through or incorporate my attractions for beef as I attempt a relationship with fish. So I've always rathered to stay inside limbo. I've said as much before in these pages. I'd rather be alone and lonely than take a woman's trust and her life, and destroy it with my fluid sexuality.
To say nothing of the sheer challenge of just saying hello! And just staying interesting for her. And being able to negotiate through disagreements. And her calling me an idiot sometimes. And me falling asleep on top or her by accident after I gets mines. And performing a thousand other horribly human things that will make me feel like an utter failure and an undeveloped child, and a fool.
Yeah, I've rather stayed in limbo all this time. But I can't stay here forever. And I guess that's what I look to you guys for. To David A Price, for instance, who adores his wife and occasionally drops hints or two on how he pleases her. Wedding pictures that he's shared with me make him look like a bear protecting a maiden. I'm looking for how I'll do the same.
So for now, fear my Orb of Force! No Spell Resistance, beeyotches!