Well... Wow.

I mean ... I never thought I'd have this reaction. But I guess I kind of feel bad for some of these folks. Again, it has to be from the intersection I've been experiencing of late with these unbelievably monied people.

This story indicates that the money manufacturing Lehman Brothers (no, I really, literally don't know what they do, except make lots of money for some of its' employees) did not get the bail-out that many of us cynical and jaded onlookers expected them to get. so the following happened;

Employees emerging from Lehman's headquarters near the heart of Times Square Sunday night carried boxes, tote bags and duffel bags, rolling suitcases, framed artwork and spare umbrellas. Many were emblazoned with the Lehman Brothers name. Its businesses in Britain were placed in administration Monday, said the administrator, accounting firm PricewaterhouseCoopers, and employees carrying boxes and bags were walking out of Lehman's London offices.

TV trucks lined Seventh Avenue opposite the building, while barricades at the building's main entrance attempted to keep workers and onlookers from gumming up the steady flow of pedestrians flowing in and out of Times Square.

Some workers had moist eyes while a few others wept and shared hugs. Most who left the building quietly declined interviews.

People snapped pictures with cameras and their phones. Observers pressed up against a police barricade drew the ire of one man who emerged from the building and shouted: "Are you enjoying watching this? You think this is funny?"

See, all you had to do was put a human face on this, and I'm affected. Never mind that this human face was probably attached to a guy who, so high above me in economic strata he may have been that he couldn't give less than his wife's poodle's crap (that she didn't pick up while walking it as per NYC law) about me and my life (which, btw, is why I won't be owning a dog in NYC any time soon). The fall of any human is hard to watch. That's why I also don't engage in the skullduggery on Sarah Palin, or in most politics. Okay, all politics. People are people. No matter who they are, they deserve to keep their pride and dignity. Except of course if they're filming themselves having sex, because shucks, now they're just GIVING it away like Crazy Eddie.

Just last night I was sitting in a posh eatery in my neighborhood, waiting for my Chicken Caesar salad-to-go, with dressing on the side, watching the posh eaters having their Sunday evening, last-social-gathering-of-the-weekend conversations. See, my neighborhood, Inwood, has a rather stark geological/economic divide. Broadway is like the rear eastern border of the expensive co-ops of the affluent.

The streets there are clean and the buildings have decor and lobbies. This I know because my first exposure to Inwood was through a guy who lived in this section.

I say Broadway is the "rear border" because literally, the co-ops and buildings which cost good money to have face west. They face Jersey and the Inwood Hill Park. Their backs are to us who are east of Broadway. However, the bus stops, train stations (the 1 and the A) and all the fancies eateries are on or a block from Broadway.


So they have to =literally= descend their multi-tiered stone staircase to join us at times.


And last night, I found myself feeling slightly resentful. Clearly, one half of the dining quartet was an early thirties (if not late twenties) pair of successful, self-possessed, driven yuppies elaborating about their importance in the world. I didn't outright hate them, but I did think of The Grim Jester who does, which is why he psychotically avoids Manhattan and thus avoids me.

But then I awoke to this Lehman Brothers story and I find compassion again.

Welcome to the other side of Broadway folks. I'll spring for a sandwich when your trust funds run out.

That didn't sound as compassionate as I originally intended it to be.

Ladies, You Betta WORK That Song!!

The live version on stage

A worked version showing who the artists are in the original recording (well done if I must say so!

Just....WHY?

Now, I ask you. Was this necessary? No, not 'was it necessary to take this picture?' because yes, it was. I had to! I couldn't let this perfectly illustrated reason for my protest of flip-flops to go by unexploited! Why should I and the citizens of the 1 train suffer alone?!

So...how does a man get to the level of either apathy or self-actualization to bare feet like these?

And you should thank the god you pray to that my stealthy picture-taking skills were not good enough to get the clear details of those nails.

*shudder*

Loose Threads

A. So I went to the convention on Sunday, having missed an entire day on Saturday, and all the get togethers on Friday. I regret nothing! I got the work finished on the audio series, and I had a good time on Sunday. I got to meet one of the other voices in podcasting that I'm fond of, and he really like dme too! He even left a message over at Geek Central saying that I was one of the highlights of his weekend! Which is NUTS. Because he was there for three whole days, he's in about a dozen of pics with other people (so he circulated well), he drank The Beer with many of his buddies. But he said putting face to messagers is always a treat for him.

So one day I will learn to stop selling myself short. You'd think I'd have done so by now, but it's still so surprising when I hear a sincere compliment from someone I myself admire.

I see myself going again next year. And this time, I'll go everyday and hang out at night. I can't say I'm bonded the way I am with the other guys, but it will be a nice getaway that I look forward to.

B. I haven't asked my DnD buddy for Irish Girl's number yet. I just can't get past the Terribles. (Those are the weapons that Worst Case Scenario Man uses against me.) I can't stop leaping ahead to the horrible conclusion of another attempt gone wrong. And if you think it's frustrating to read my utter cowardice, try being an utter coward.

C. That Man from my religious past has had a series of busy weekends that has prevented us from getting together and having my beans spilled all over him. But he has called me once to report this, and he still plans on me doing so. The good news is that now I'm redefined, and I don't have to tell him the thing I was going to tell him. His is a bridge that I don't think I'll have to burn now. I won't be giving him fantastic news of my continued religious success, but I also won't be heaping up challenge after challenge to he ability to cope with the changes in my life. The way I anticipate it now, I'll give him a lot of things to pray for, and maybe we'll weep together, and I'll get more hugs from him. But I'm not going back to our church. That's for sure.

I think that's all of them. Remind me if I've left something unsaid...

Geek Life

Fringes sent me this once. Thought it bore repeating before I continue.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

—Nelson Mandela

And this article by Ta-Nehisi Coates entitled, "Nerd culture and Black people--not an oxymoron"

Okay, now on to my topic. I'm currently in Pennsyvania. Reading, in fact. No, no... I'm not reading. The town is called Reading. Except it's not called "Reading." It's called "redding". Okay? Okay.

I drove here last night after I visited with my last client. Straight from NYC to Reading. Because what's happening this weekend is This Event. This event is sprung out of the heads of the boys who created the forum that I frequent, which I like to call Geek Central.

I like to listen to a lot of comic podcasts, but being the caveman that I am, I don't download them and enjoy via mp3 player. Rather I just listen to them through my work computer or at home, through my laptop. And naturally, I crush on the voices talking about comics, and their wives, and their well-adjusted lives despite being Chief High Nerds. So when this event loomed near, I thought, "Yes, I'd like to go." But I didn't have that, "I'm so TOTALLY going." vibe.

Then the opportunity came up to get one of my favorite podcasters to go with me. I cajoled and persuaded and prodded and backed off and reapproached. I bought my tickets and my hotel room. And at the last, my favorite podcaster said he wasn't going.

Well, bummer. And then I looked in the mirror and faced it. I wanted him to come because I have a mancrush on him. He's married, of course (my favorite kind!), and i just wanted to watch him navigate with his friends. I wanted to become his satellite for the weekend. And possibly, (and definitely not for the first time), he could tell I crushed on him and just decided I was too creepy to meet in person. He gave me a lot of circumstantial evidence as to why he couldn't make it, and he remains very friendly via traded Personal Messages and shared forum posts. So I haven't killed our web-relationship. I just feel like a freaky little stalker who needs his leash yanked every so often.

It worked out really fine the last time I did this, as this evidence shows;

We left away from the event bonded and friendly and even adoring of one another. I've spoken to a few of those fellas via phone and the rest through dozens of message posts since then.

But now here? Well, I came down because I still do know some folks who will be attending. I'm friends with a few, and I've mentioned them before. One is the really nice guy who I broke bread with at the pizza party and who shouted me out on a podcast, and two others are folks I've dined with in other places. So I have peeps to hang out with while I'm here, even if I don't meet my mancrush--like, ever.

So ... why am I blogging in my hotel room right now instead of going out and meeting new and wonderful geeks?

I guess because I feel like my freak flag is showing. Like I'm here on false pretenses. And I did miss a dose of my meds day before yesterday, so I'm probably back in my phobic head right now until the restarted dose kicks in.

So I just want to stay in the room and lounge. Pass everyone by until I feel better.

Isn't that silly? And just a very little bit sad?

Edited to add; It's just Me, Myself, and I

The Thing I Didn't Tell About...

...so, on Labor Day, I got a surprising invite from one of my NYC DnD-playing buddies, who has been absent for weeks because he's learning the language of his new fiancee's homeland. This love stuff. Oi what it can make you do.

He invited me to a frisbee-throwing leisure event at Sheep's Meadow, which is this big lawn in Central Park where the sunbathers worship Sol for every ounce of carcinoma they can sacrifice. I've never been attracted in the least bit, except for all the gorgeous bodies awash in tanning lotion, which can number in the hundreds on a weekend. It's like Manhattan's equivalent of a beach.

So I met him first, and then these other people from other walks of his life. Two guys and a girl. The guys were endearingly average. Good senses of humor, pot bellies, non DnD players, NYC professionals living on the island, awkwardly still single, good $$ earners. Then comes the girl.

The girl is Irish. Like my friend who invited me. The girl has brunette hair and blue eyes. The girl has an Irish brogue. The girl is captivating to me. So there's the five of us on a blanket, awash in athletic men and women and I'm talking to the Irish Girl. Learning her profession and she's learning mine. And I distinctly feel an exclusivity going on. Out of the five people on this blanket, three of us guys are single, two of which are white and one of which is also Irish (only Americanized, third generational). But here we are, me and her, chatting up a storm.

The other two already know her, and so I see they didn't need to jump into the convo, but I still felt awkward, so I applied the brakes and addressed them as I had done before she arrived fashionably late. However, they went scarpering off to some event, leaving the party planner, me and the Irish Girl behind.

Cutting to the chase is that I enjoyed the Irish Girl. When, however, we three got up to leave I went utterly superficial. She was a bit taller than me. Slumped a bit. She walked like a rugby player. But then, as opposed to the greeting (a nice safe handshake) she hugged me goodbye. And when I said, "we have to get together another time!" she responded "Definitely!"

Well, before I blogged about it, I texted the party planner and asked him if Irish Girl was single. And he said yes, and did I detect a vibe? And I said I thought so, and was I being foolish? And he responding aren't we all, and how did I want to arrange this.

And I froze up. But I did tell him that I had to consult my advisors.

Yeah, that's you guys.

The Party Planner knows nothing of all this bisexuality going on up in here. With him and the other gang, I play a 12th level wizard with high stats in Strength, Dexerity, and constitution. That means he's a hunk. So I play him like one. Like a arrogant, powerful, exhibitionist wizard. I have him doing calisthenics in only a loincloth in the AMs when we travel. The DM has seen fit to pander to my posturing by having a longterm woman enter the campaign and allow my character to get shtupped on the regular (until he threw a massive spanner into the gears, as DMs are wont to do). But the point is, I roleplayed a very masculine guy, and entered the shoes of the kind of person I wanted to be, and had/have a great time doing it.

So the Party Planner has that kind of general impression of me (because I am a bit hunkish, if I do say so myself, and Party Planner said I have a great voice). And in the back of my mind, I think he may have even set up the meeting for the sake of his single Irish friend and I bit in, hook and line, with the sinker trailing closely along my flank as I try swimming for safer waters. So possibly this girl might have been sold a bill of goods fraudulently.

And my Tribe, I know what you're already going to say, and I love you for it.

But tell me anyway.

To date or not to date?

Back That Thang Up!

You betta WORK daddy-o!