When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Monday, July 5, 2010

I Could Use Some Advice

So Dr. Something-Or-Other has still not responded, and perhaps I need to stop expecting he will. But the bloke with the hot body, who I wrote to the Doc about, I've found in the Doc's Facebook pages. Hot Body is as closed off there as he is at the "porn" site where I first found him (porn in quotes because while many others are showing off everything, Hot Body is only showing off his ... well ... hot body.)

Clearly what I've done is the act of cyberstalking. Is that bad?

I want to see this man walk and hear him talk. I want more than these tantalizing pics.

So here's the advice I need, should I FB message this guy? And if so, what could I possibly say?

I'm obsessed again. That much is clear. Would it be best if I get myself over this?


Me said...

Okay, here's a quick follow up. He doesn't seem to have any black friends on Facebook. Plenty of hot guys though. I'm guessing he's very private, very picky, and prefers the same type of dude that I do--which is not me.

I'm leaving this alone.

So, back to the safe default. Doing nothing. Aren't you glad? Wouldn't it be terrible if I actually wound up happy up in this piece, lol.

The Overmonkey said...

In response to your questions - as long as you aren't breaking any laws or anyone's confidence, I don't see the collection of information online as anything particularly wrong, but I'm not sure everyone else agrees, so when I do it, I keep it to myself.

For example - I met a girl recently and we became facebook friends. I most definitely read most of her facebook page, posts, links, comments, and I looked at every photo she had. I read her notes. I found and read her blogs, her flickr account - the works.

Do I feel like I was stalking her? No. I was getting to know her with the available resources. That said, she knows I exist, and we were acquainted, at least in passing, before I started.

I would say that picking a random person on the street to do that to is a little creepy, not that what I did wasn't a bit creepy itself. But the key to it for me is - that's not information that you USE in ANY context. It's _just_ information.

FWIW, I think you've made huge strides towards being happy.

GrizzBabe said...

I think The Overmonkey provides some good perspective.

Anonymous said...

This is my first visit here, but I've read a few of your most recent posts and would love to throw my two-cents in.

I think if you want to, you should FB Hot Body. Really, what do you have to lose?

As for the Dr. Something-of-a-jerk, I'd give up on waiting for a response. It'd be a cold day in hell, after I'd written such a thoughtful email and gotten no reply, that I'd ever give him the time of day! So, when or if you FB the Hot Body, I wouldn't even mention the Doc link. Maybe you could disclose that info on your first date.

Wishing you much luck and happiness on your journey!

Me said...

I appreciate the feedback, and welcome Christine! I added you to my blogroll--I like what you say at your place! And WOW to your parents. I hope they at least partnered somewhere that they had a supportive community nearby them, but even so...yeah, man. Brave. If I had an 1/8 of that, none of this would even be an issue.

Erica M. said...

Christine is awesomez.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the warm welcome! (hiya E, you are more awesomez:)

I think, looking back, that my parents created their own community. Many of their friends were other LG couples and often had kids of their own; with similar goals and interests. There was not a lot of clubbing going on, like with my (L) Aunt Vy. She had a different support system--other carefree singles that were living it up. For years I never saw her with the same girlfriend more than twice. She was a Party grrl.

In both instances, our family was mostly respected. There wasn't any biased bullshit that I was aware of, from the community at large. Of course there's a bigot in every crowd, but on the whole it was all good.

Listen closely...you'll hear your campanilismo calling you.