Still Mad

So, yeah. I saw Bridesmaids today. I shouldn't watch chick flicks. Even when they are much less chicky. Because inevitably, in whatever measure, they major on relationships--and I don't.

Yesterday, my Con Buddy took me for a daytrip to Baltimore to see a culture museum and get away from the ratrace. I mainly went to be with someone and share the day. It was a nice time that was spent with laughter and conversation and too much food that I have to spend all week working off. A nice time, right? Yes. A nice time.

I should try to grow this relationship. He really does like me for a friend. He likes things about me that he doesn't find in other people. And I have a lot of availability, so that should work out in his favor too.

And I was able to distance my crush on him all day yesterday. I was able to notice that he bites his fingernails way too much and that his arms are thin. I was able to talk myself out of wanting more from him that I won't ever get. And that's good, right? It's not like I haven't had practice at this. In fact my life is pretty littered with the wreckage of doomed crushes that have never been fulfilled.

We'll see what's what when I get a set of abs I can bare in public. We'll see if Teh Cute Masculine Gays will want me then. We'll see if I get a chance then. Maybe I'll reject them this time. Maybe I'll never be with anyone, but be happy.

Maybe.

But I'm mad about it.