When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Saturday, August 7, 2010

I Talk A Good Game

But when it comes to rubber y road, I'm crap.

So I keep getting emails from frickin "FINDFRED" which happens because I went over there and started a profile. But stopped. Because. I'm crap.

But today I thought, no. Let me look around. BUT!! In order to look around, I had to frickin' finish the profile. So okay. Bastards.

So I started. I'm in fact in the middle of it now.

And SHIT! This effing thing is going all out!! It's asking nice questions like you would find on Match.Com, and then it asks stuff like what sex position I like, what is my ... size, what size do I WANT, what's my favorite bodypart, what's my BEST bodypart ... and I'm like HOLY CRAP. This thing is talking to me like I'm gay!!

And the voice in my head answered back "Well isn't that what you've been telling everybody?"

And I'm like "NO! I haven't been telling EVERYBODY...!!"

And the voice says, "Well either shit or get the fuck off the pot Nancy-Boy."

And then I literally want to break down in tears. Because FUCK YOU that's why!!! This is fucking fuck fuck HARD!! MOTHERFUCCCCCKKKERRR.

Dammit. I hate this. I'm lonely and scared and this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like I can never EVER share this. Nobody wants to know this shit. What's MY size? What do I like???

How the hell do you answer something like that?

I hate this.

I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

It's not fair.

FUCK. YOU. KEVIN. You perverted criminal son of a bitch. I would kill you right now if I could. I would kill you.


Me said...

Well, I finished it. Guess I had to vent the venom before I could finish.

Saw some attractive blokes and left some emails of interest. I don't think my pictures loaded yet, so maybe I should've waited.

Yup, I put my picture up. I figure if anyone I know ever sees my profile on FindFred, then they're gay too. The closeted ones will stay quiet and the out ones may now know.

Baby steps.

Thanks for playing.

GrizzBabe said...

Baby steps.