So, yeah. I appreciated all the comments to the last post. Coaster Punchman took it to e-mail and engaged me with some real talk and a psychotherapuetic exercise to help me suss out the real me. In addition, I called up my Pastor Hero to drop it all into his lap again after a year of absence. He too turned the mirror of therapy around so that I could get a long hard look.
Also, I called MFTD and used him yet again for a stress valve. He and Coaster Punchman have a lot in common, I'm amused to say. And they have the goal they would both like me to reach.
And I was able to make up my mind.
Either I get with a woman who's life I can enrich and draw enrichment from, or I stay single.
Is that going to make you happy, I hear you ask. And this is the answer--I would be significantly less happy if those two conditions weren't occurring in my life. I'm not expecting to be more happy than what we all usually experience, whether we're hetero or homo.
When I'm alone, I'm mostly happy. I get to do what I want. All the money is mine. All my non-work time is mine. I get to be selfish by default. And when I live on my own again, I'm getting a cat.
And yet I know that with the right person, sharing your time is worth it. Enter the little missus. Since relationships take work, I need as little a reason to bolt as possible. I've got a lot of things to learn about personal compromise, and dividing my time and growing my tolerance. While carrying out these tasks, I need next to NO ONE in my face adding to the challenge. No people who disapprove, no societal battles to fight, no stares from children, no scorn or patronization from neighors.
Dead horse beaten one last time.