Should I Leave It There?

I tell you I have the golden touch. I fell in love with Jennifer Hudson the moment she stepped first on American Idol and I realized I couldn't bear the competitive tension. But I knew she was amazing, even though Fantasia won that year.

And I bought this song off iTunes about a month ago, and the girl went and won a few Grammys the other night.

But all celebration aside, the song touched me because it seemed to narrate my experience as so many of them so often do.

The Past Girl has another visitor today from Texas, and I remember her telling me about this one when we first started chatting so I believe her. In other words, she's not available again ... but I don't feel shot down quite yet.

But isn't this funny--I'm growing impatient! Half of me says to hurry or else she won't think I'm interested, and then the other half tries to avoid the whole challenge altogether. I feel negligent when I take it slow, but frustrated when I choose to go for it and get stymied.

I guess I must really want this even though sometimes I don't. My hero suggested that when I want my aloneness, it could be a defense mechanism. Oh he's good. It is a defense. I want to be alone because it's less painful than trying and failing, and THEN being alone against my will.

see how this song applies so well right now?


Chasing Pavements
by ADELE

I've made up my mind
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong I am right
Don't need to look no further
This aint lust
I know
this is love

but

If I tell the world
I'll never say enough
'Cos it was not said to you
and thats exactly what i need to do
if I'd
end up
with you

should I give up
or should I just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere?

Or would it be a waste
even if I knew my place?
should I leave it there?

should I give up
or should I just keep chasing pavements
even if it
leads nowhere

I build myself up
and fly around in circles
waiting as my heart drops
and my back begins to tingle
finally
could this be

it?

Or

Should I give up
or should I just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere,
or would it be a waste
even if I knew my place?
should I leave it there?

Should I give up?
or should I just keep chasing pavements
even if it
leads nowhere

Yea?

Should I give up
or should I just keep chasing pavements
even if
it leads no where?

Or would it be a waste?
Even if I knew my place?
Should I leave it there?

Should I give up?

Or should I just keep on chasing pavements?

Should I just keep on chasing pavements?

or

Should I give up
or should I just keep on chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Or would it be a waste
even if I knew my place

should I leave it there?

Should I give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements?


Even if it


leads no where?