When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Thursday, August 7, 2008


So I started the Nutrisystem meals on July 29th, the day after I returned from Cali. I cheated on Aug 2nd with Jim Dandy, a strong lover made of 5 scoops of ice cream, 3 toppings, a mound of whip cream, chocolate sprinkles and walnut pieces.

(stomach: *growwwWWwwwll*)

Yesterday I cheated with a McDonald's double hamburger.

From the 29th until now, I've lost 7 lbs. This means I'm now 190.

So it is working, and slowly which is good. It's helping me know what size portions I should be eating, and when in the day I should be eating them. It has plenty of sugary snacks (cookies, brownies, scones, hotchocolate) and flavored pretzels and chips and things to snack on (at the appointed time, in the appointed amount) as to not keep me hungry--but sometimes I still crave. The dinner "meals" are small, er, I mean "perfectly porportioned" but the s uggestion is to eat these with a salad, drink plenty of water all day, and snack on fruit and yogurt as well (like 12 cherries, as opposed to the whole store bag of cherries).

I've also gone to the gym a few times since the 29th--not as frequently as I'd like, but I'm going. The more I exercize, the faster the weight loss, and the less hungry I am. So that's good.

And I have a pair of black stovepipe jeans that I've worn out of sheer orneriness, which would make me look like a pumpernickel loaf with my shirt off. Now they are looser in the thighs, and I only look like a bran muffin instead of a loaf.

So onward and downward!

In other news, MFTD is having a birthday bash at his place this weekend. I look forward to going only because I got him a gift when I was in Cali (an exclusive convention toy in his favorite genre, and I've never bought him a gift before), and I want to see if it makes him cry. lol! What I don't look forward to is the same ole that lowers my elevation each time; His family.
His wife.
His adorably real and just-learned-to-walk baby girl.
His cat.
His dog.
His life.
His mother, who bakes him a special cake every year for the b-day.
His father, still amrried to her.
His brothers.
Their girlfriends.
One of theirs' wife and newborn baby.

Americana at its' most vanilla. It's not perfect, and neither is he. But dammit, man. It's just ridiculous to be around all that stuff and be who I am. It's like an ant among elephants. Or an elephant among ants, to reflect the appropriate denial of low-self esteem. I'm not worst than any of those people, and they aren't better than me. In fact, I wouldn't trade places with half of them. Not even with MFTD. I like my freedom.

But I'm just so damned different. It's a pain in the ass.


A Shade Of Scorpio said...

Whooooo!!!! Go Alan!!! Thanks for the actual LOL - a pumpernickel loaf!!!! Not that I think you look like a pumpernickel loaf...oh and btw - I haven't been to NYC since I went back on the 7th of June. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I haven't found a pocket big enough to stick the kid in. But will see if you're around when I do finally cross the state line.

To the Fam thing - that's understandable. I have a friend who used to call me up and then proceed to talk to her kids the whole time. Now, I AM a parent, but still. I love me humanling time, oh I do. But I also love me Former Wild Woman time. And a good drink.

Well, how long do you have to be there for? And who else will be there to entertain you while everyone wants a piece of the birthday boy? Maybe you should call that girl.....

Trixie said...

Sweetie, life would be boring if we were all the same. As you said 'vanilla'. Ya know, some people in that life, would swap yours for anything. Grass is always greener and all that.

And well done on the weight lost!

The Neighbor said...

My Mom did Nutri-System for a long time - did I tell you that? It really does work.

I'm a little meh on most diets - I've always been in the camp of "burn more calories than you eat," but I also have to concede that it took me several tries and some external motivation before I really took to the regular workout regimen.

But it sounds like you're kicking ass - definitely keep it up. The gym I've been flirting with has TVs built in to the treadmills - if you have a favorite TV show, you could try to schedule it so that you're walking through it. The Librarian watches Colbert re-runs. I prefer Cops.

As for YFTD's family - vanilla is bland bland bland. Who actually wants bland??