When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Wow. Is It EVERYONE At Pixar??

I saw this video at Facebook, posted on a fella's wall who I recently friended after meeting him at a comics convention. He is friends with other friends who I also know from comics and the internet. And yes, his is cute in a red teddy bear sort of way.

According to his FB profile, he seems to be enjoying a relationship with a girl who I also find is really cute. So he might be straight. In one pic, she is nuzzling against his cheek and he just looks so contented and ... grateful. It's a beautiful picture.

Today for some reason, he was moved to share this with all his FB friends;

Well, of course this brought me to tears. It's such a struggle. I've come out to possibly a dozen people in the online comics community (of which I've been describing) and none of them have let me being a gay dude spread. Or if they have, no one's made any big deals about it. And I picked some pretty hub people to tell it to, I must say. If they were to talk, many MANY people would know overnight. But nothing blew up. No trauma occurred. My life isn't changed.

I suppose they're all waiting for ME to tell my own business. Which is respectful and decent of them. Which I should have known because they're my friends for a reason. And maybe this is the month that I get this done. Maybe THAT'S what my big move is going to be in July.

Everything these Pixar people are saying, up until they start telling us how It Gets Better, has been my life for the last 40 years. And yes, I'm starting the countdown at 6 when I became aware of how hot this guy was as I watched a snake slithering across his torso.

As a kid, I didn't think I was supposed to be aware of sex, yet I was. I didn't think I was supposed to do anything about it, yet I did. I ran to church to hide myself away from the images I wanted to see, but then I sought them out anyway. And now that I know what I am, I'm still too terrified to do anything about it.

Well, I have been too terrified. Now I'm just terrified minus the "too."

When I hit 50 yrs old, I will have a life I will be proud of. What these Pixar people are saying, I will initimately know.

And I'm aware that I don't have to wait until I'm 50.

Maybe this month I'll get a jump on it.

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