When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I Would Do It All Again.

I'd do it all again.

I'd do it all again.

I'd do it all again.

I'd do it ALL again

You're searching for something I know won't make you happy.

Ohhhhh ooooooh.

You're thirsting for something I know won't make you happy.

Oh, you did it all again.
You broke another skin.
It's hard to believe this time--
Hard to believe that my heart,
My heart's an open door.
You got all you came for, baby.

So weary.

Someone to love is bigger than your pride's worth.

It's bigger than the pain you got for and it hurts.

It outruns all of the sadness.

It's terrifying lights through the darkness!

And I'd do it all again.

I'd do it all again.

I'd do it all again.

I'd do it ALL again.

You try sometimes but they wont stop.
You got my heart and my head's locked.


I'll be burning down these candles for love.

For love.

So weary.

Someone to love is bigger your pride.


It's bigger than the pain it got for,

It hurts.

You're searching for something I know ...

...won't make ...

... you ...

... happy ...

Ohhhhh ...

... H'ooooooh.


Coaster Punchman said...

Nice song. I was not familiar with it.

Me said...

It's been haunting me since Sunday when I discovered it too.

The backstory is that when I still clung to a straight identity, I professed mad love for this woman and that I would do anything to share personal company with her. Good thing it never really happened because surely she'd be disappointed in the end. Either that or she'd somehow reverse my orientation and I'd become Mr. Corinne Bailey.

In 2008, the man who gave her the "Rae" part of her name passed away of a drug overdose.

Well, it feels like I've lost three years. I remember when my buddy Eliel sent me CBR's husband's death notice saying that now I had my chance (was that you Eliel?) which is both morbid and hilarious because, really. Can we say Zero Chance Of That Actually Happening?

But in the time between then and now Corinne Bailey Rae took an entire 18 months off of touring and producing in mourning. Then she came out with the album "The Sea" last year, and now has another called "The Love" where she covers love songs from her favorite artists.

"I'd Do It All Again" was my foray back into her music and it hit me in the gut. The first day I heard it, I only observed and read the YouTube comments and pondered. Seemed like the song was making a lot of listeners cry for some reason. Seemed there was a belief that she wrong this song in memory of her husband.

Then I started to pay attention to the words. It might NOT be about him at all, but it is most definitely about the difficulty of one person facing another in a love relationship.

It seems not to have any clear narrative or timeline -- it's a few vignettes of emotion from one person to another.

But the message is that, despite all this pain, the singer would do it all again. And that singer/songwriter lost her husband to drug overdose 3 years ago.

So on all those levels, this song is haunting the absolute bejeezus out of me.

The second day of listening, I bawled life a total fool. And every day since, not with every playback, but at least once each day, I've bawled. I bawled on the street walking to the office. I've bawled on the subway platform. I've bawled on the train. I've bawled watching a cover of it on YouTube.

And I can't figure out what is affecting me most. Is it as mechanically simple as the music chords combined with the singer? Is it the message that pain is worth the risk of love? Is it that I'm mourning the risks that I deny myself? Am I reacting to CBR's loss? Am I missing my mother and father?

I don't know. But yeah. There it is.

Tera said...

Love. Sigh.

GrizzBabe said...

Gon', girl! Sing that song! Both of you!

Erica M said...

Your comment on your post was even more awesome than the post itself! I already have her first two CDs. Going now to look for the one you mentioned. Thanks!

Me said...

I was able to stop crying after I made that comment. Something was coiled up inside and I guess the typing about it help root it out. I've listened to it a few more dozen times now, but I've also become WELL acquainted with her other songs from The Sea.

CBR is a gift to Mother Earth, I tell you what.