When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Nevermore As Close As I Was Yesterday

...to "coming out" to my geek community. Yesterday (right?) when California upheld the same-sex marriage ban, there were SO many tweets from my geek friends and professionals that were de-crying and insulting California for their decision.

I just couldn't understand why they were SO moved. Those are people who brag about how beautiful their wives are and are the fathers of many sons and daughters. And so I Tweeted it out there. A little miffed, in fact. I suggested that if those guys were so offended by Prop 8, then they should protest in earnest. I suggested a French-Kiss in. They should snog a same-sex buddy in solidarity for the plight of the homosexuals of California. Otherwise, I just wanted them to shuttheEFFup. (Just wanted them to. I didn't say tweet it.) Because, dude WHY are YOU bitching? Mr hairy-chested, bounce-my-son-on-my-knee, screw-my-wife All-American Boy. How happy it must be for you to have no sexual confusion. How nice that when you were attracted sexually, you were able to go right in and tap that ass with no social ramifications. You got to have all the sex. Then you got to marry her. Then you got to make babies. During all this blissful coitus, did you ever ONCE look around you and think, "Hey? Gay people don't get to enjoy what I'm enjoying right now, in full support of their society."

But now you want to litter my Twitterscape with your bitching? You're a got-damn day late and a mutha-effing dollar short there, Biff. Go back to your 401K, your McMansion cul-de-sac, your 2.5 children and your pilates-addicted Housewife of Orange County and cut me an Effing Break. Where the hell was all your outrage when I was in highschool and crushing on the football captain but thinking, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong.

Now I'm 40-almost-effing-FIVE, never dipped a wick IN MY LIFE, and NOW you want to be all "civil-rights-is-GOOD sez Johnny ACTIVIST"?! Sit yo normal ass the hell down somewhere.


I needed that.

So anyway, I so very extremely nearly twittered yesterday that "reasons like Prop 8 are why I'm not gay." Which is a joke, right, because either I'm supposed to be gay or not. But check this out--one of my closer friends over Twitter, someone I've met a few times and we've broken bread over a diner table, responded to my "French-A-Buddy" said he WOULD do it if it made a difference. To which I was like--WHAT? And then he Tweeted--PUBLICALLY TWEETED--that he was bisexual, but now was in a committed marriage to a woman. To which part I already knew. Not only married, but they made two children together.

But he said he was bisexual! Told everyone who followed him that, yes I would french-kiss a man to support the Gays of California, and oh "bi" the way I used to do it just for fun too!

See, that's the kind of living I wish I could have done. Go ahead and have my fun with some hunky bastard, get it the hell over with, and then get with a woman who would sing "I don't care 'bout those other girls (and guys), just be good to me."

In summary though, I can't lie. It's my own fault. I can't blame the straight people who are pissed off at California for my own choices and my own isolation and fears. Hundreds of thousands of people grew up in the same America I did, and sprinted out of their closets and got busy and partnered up and enjoyed love and adopted kids and combined incomes and bought houses. I could have been one of them. Or I could have been like my bisexual buddy (who is, by the way, pretty sexy too--but again, married now and a father of two).

I'm living a life based on my choices, no one elses'. Yes, it would have been nice to have had a society around me to have helped me make better ones, but too late now. Spilt milk. And maybe all the angry straight people now will make it better for the kids of the next generation when they're looking for a societally acceptable place to dip their wicks.

Add to that, as one of the straight outraged guys dialogued with me, many straight people know and love homosexual folks, and are legitimately upset for the sake of their brothers, their uncles, their cousins, the best man at their wedding, their college roommate who they still keep in touch with, etc. People have a right to feel anyway they want to feel about anything they want to feel about.

I was just taking out my frustrations and jealousy on them.

And that's why I blog.

I feel better now.

And really, California? WTF?


The Neighbor said...

A friend of mine in California set her facebook status to "Legalize Gay" and another said we should outlaw marriage for left-handed people, to which I announced I was a lefty-basher.

My biggest issue is the still-legal gay marriages of those folks already married - how will this stand up to our constitution's demands for laws that apply equally? I guess we'll see.

GrizzBabe said...

You think California's weird, you should try living where I am in the Deep South. I went to a County Commission meeting this week where the commissioners voted down a proposed ordinance designed to protect gays, lesbians and the transgendered against discrimination in county government. Their reasoning? "I'm a Christian and I believe homosexuality is a sin, therefore, I'm not voting for this ordinance." As if their views on homosexuality should give them license to discriminate. Sigh. We are way more backward than California ever thought of being.

GrizzBabe said...

And I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to be gay. It's a tough road to hoe.

Scott said...

To me it seems like there should be a legal arrangement that gives gay couples the same rights as married folks, call it something different, and let both sides have their way. It makes it all legal and everyone is happy. Proponents of gay marriage that are straight have the choice of either construct, which would further legitimize (socially) the legal construct. Religious folks can keep the ancient ceremony of marriage to themselves and can complain amongst themselves and on sympathetic media outlets, but it won't make a spit of difference. Like racism in America, the discrimination will die an excruciatingly long but steady death. I think the error that the gay lobby (for lack of a better term) is making is to think folks will just get over being opposed to homosexuality. It doesn't work like that. Find a way to work it into society slowly; let the proponents embrace it; and watch the opposition struggle with it. Adapt to the circumstances instead of trying to win straight up in the battlefield.