Bitter, Bitter, and Some Sweet

So night before last I had a beast of a dream. I was a part of an outing, kind of a sponsored bus trip, to some kind of mall outlet wonderworld. Like The Mall Of America. I must have gone with The Church because I was feeling like an utter stranger among people that I knew. People were all talking amongst themselves but not to me. I had taken up a familiar role of the weird kid.

There was a suspended cable ride through the Mall, like a ski lift, designed for two people, and while everyone paired off, I took my ride alone.

When we all got off the ride, Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston were having a small tiff about something that I couldn't quite hear. We were all trying to get some food from McDonalds when Jennifer left us and sat off by herself, with Courtney sitting on the same low wall as she, but quite a few feet away. They both looked so upset.

Then one of the kids our group told me what was going on. They had argued over me. Courtney already was married, but she was trying to convince Jennifer that I wasn't that bad. And just as her viewpoint was given by this snoopy little groupmember, Jennifer felt the need to defend herself. So she called above the crowd back to the snoop and to me, "Well maybe he wouldn't be so bad if he didn't have that sweaty, bald head and those ... black pants!" And when she said this, it caused our peers to laugh. Courtney came to my defense though and chased her yelled statement with "Well, I like you, Alan!"

My heart broke. I knew I could count on Courtney because she had always been my Friend. But I really loved Jennifer and had run out of ways to try to get her to notice me. And while Courtney was beautiful and supportive, she's MARRIED. It's always the beautiful, spoken-for ladies who makes you wish they weren't, ain't it? And the beautiful ones who never want you either?

So I got mad. I said something cruel to the kid who busted Jennifer's info on me, and then I got mad at everyone else. For always making me the stranger. Always making me feel like I should feel bad for imposing my weird self on the normals.

So in that instance I said to myself "Eff ALL of you." And without a glance back, I spread my arms, took a few steps, and took to the sky. I flew away from them all and didn't care what the consequences were going to be.

Then I woke up.