When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Dontchange

So, can I pick 'em or what? My Super Hero remains my friend. He said ZERO things have changed.

You know, it seems pretty clear that I'm on my way out of the closet. I seem to be taking it a step at a time, choosing with who and how to reveal. CoasterPunchman walked me through an exercize by e-mail a few months ago that had me face my exact fears about identifying myself as "A Gay American." I've tackled two of those fears on that list now, meanwhile testing waters here at my blog, taking my time, having my panic attacks, crying a little every day, mourning my heterosexuality in my own way, trying to adopt a new dream for my life, trying to still feel human and love-able and ... redeemable.

Well, a few minutes ago, I looked for a music video because I wanted to punctuate one of my messageboard posts with the theme of a song and after I found what I thought was perfect, I realized it had another meaning for another aspect of my life.

So, here you go--I knew I had to post it here--let the tears flow freely. God knows mine did.

2 comments:

GrizzBabe said...

You did a brave thing and you are better off for it. Even if he had reacted differently from the way you had expected, it still would have been a step toward authenticity and that's a good thing. I think that's the key to happiness here -- being free to be who you truly are, whatever that is, and feeling comfortable about it.

I should give you a buzz soon.

Alan said...

I'll take that buzz.