When I Need A Pick Me Up, by my friend Ryan King

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Not Fade Away

I know that title of this post is either a book or a song (maybe a title of an album? I'll Google it later). But I use it anyway because I want to wrestle with some fear and some concern.

It the shelf life of a blog two years? Or is that the expiration date on a blog relationship?

What I don't want to do is shut a door that doesn't ask to be shut. And I don't want to assume meanings that do not exist when things are silent.

But I do want to let people go if they don't want to be kept. (No I don't. I want to fight for them. I want to sit in the middle of the sidewalk and have a tantrum and not care who thinks it's strange. I want to give in to my abandonment issues and rage against the fear.)

But hugely, I don't want to burn out a relationship with my whining. I want to hold on and wait it out and see where it gets me. See if there's anything left to salvage on its own merits.

What I think I WILL do is count the merits of life. Yours and mine. And satisfy myself in that for now. And believe that nothing has changed. And that you guys are just real busy.

Scott is on vacation right now, enjoying his son. He's busy, productive and alive.

Grizz is growing her relationship with her fiance. She's navigating an unemployed life and preparing to work with the dreams she has, working on making them come true.

Ned is vital, alive, and stepping into his own life again after a months-long scare and hiatus from the social world. He's slaying dragons and bedding maidens and doing what comes naturally to a knight of the realm.

Shades is getting married in a few weeks to the man she found again--the man who found her again.

Tom is battling the tides of prejudice, managing the grief of loss, and stoking the fires of hope and happiness.

Everything and everybody is good and every other thing is illuminated.

The Summer awaits and the sorrows of last week are in the past, irreversible.

People we miss will be missed.

People we love will be lov'd.

And that's what's going on.


GrizzBabe said...

This sounds like I'm being eulogized. I ain't dead yet. And I haven't gone anywhere. I'm at your blog EVERY DAY (sometimes multiple times a day) even if I don't comment.

Now posts on my own blog have been a little sparse lately mainly because I've been visiting The Boyfriend and have also felt that I had nothing to write about. But I've been thinking about using my blog as a diary and working out some of my more personal thoughts for all the world to see. Or maybe not. In any event, I do have a new post up today.

The Neighbor said...

Yeah, man. I'm not dead either. I read less often than I used to, and blog almost not at all lately, but I go in cycles.

The title is a Buddy Holly song, but the Grateful Dead and the Rolling Stones did it better. It was also Rush's first single.